Originally posted by Silky Johnson
The relationships are just different/separate, and I believe it should be kept that way. Don't where you eat, etc. Especially working with women, many of whom are still in their 20s. These young broads have gotten themselves into a lot of at work, simply because they bring their outside lives in. But perhaps that's just the folly of youth.
Yeah, I have bad experiences of making friends with someone at work and then falling out with them. Having to go to work with someone you don't like creates a poisonous atmosphere. Now, I'm cool with the people I work with, and I'll go out drinking with them if it's a work night out, but I'm not going to let any of them into my private life.
Work really is a social minefield. It's a strange situation where you have a group of people who are in your company more than practically anyone else in your life, and yet you don't necessarily like any of them. You've been brought together to do a sometimes stressful job, and any lurking enmity is easily exposed under pressure. It's precarious enough without bringing your personal life into the equation.
Silky Johnson
My manager has curated a pretty awesome crew of staff, I must say. Many of the units at my work conduct peer interviews for new hires, which I think is awesome. in sucks when new staff join the team who clearly don't and won't ever fit - job performance wise, that is. I actually can't stand when new people come along and immediately try to inject themselves into the social aspect of the workplace, attempting to prove themselves that way, when what they should be doing is demonstrating their value through their work ethic. The social always comes in time.
r5a
haha this thread made me smile.
you s are older than i am by margin of 5~10 years at least. i run into this problem NOW.
it seems like life happens, people get busy and the ones you really care about stick around. rest just seem to fall away. sure you'll make acquaintances here and there but the cores will stick (if they really are)
ive personally fallen out of a touch with a few friends but the core remains the same regardless of distance. some have moved away for years to do their masters/med school but we just pick it up where we left off
i have a couple of people i do a quarterly checkin / evening with from the old days but thats about it.
time to read this thread and see whats good
r5a
quote:
Originally posted by Silky Johnson
Ok fine, I'll speak to just your post then.
A while back we were out for Sunday breakfast, and at the next table was a young woman and much older woman. I assumed it was a grandmother/daughter relationship. We could overhear their entire conversation. The young woman was going on about her and her husband's troubles getting pregnant, and kept saying "I trust in the lord's plan for us." 'The lord' this and 'the lord' that.
At first I rolled my eyes to myself and thought "Oh brother, stupid fool..the lord ain't in control of ."
But then I realized the relationship of these two was probably a connection through church, and I thought "How lovely these two women have a connection to share, and a community to share it in (especially the old bird)." The lord/church stuff was really inconsequential.
And I got to thinking about the erosion of community in recent times, and how neighbourly behaviour doesn't really exist in the same way it used to - people don't give much of a about each other or look out for each other, or take care of each other and hold each other accountable to one another. Something that I know belonging to a community like a church, especially, provides people with. I work with some nurses and doctors who all go to the same united church, and they are very involved with the community, helping others and such. I think that's lovely.
Now that we're starting a family, we've actually been considering joining a church (I was quite surprised when I mentioned the idea to my husband and he said he'd already been thinking about it himself). It's just such a nice thing to be part of, to be connected with others in the community and, as I said, to look out for others (outside of just family) and have them look out for you. The world (at least my part of the world) is only becoming more and more of a self centered "me first/ you" place - I think society could use social groups like church now more than ever. Especially since many churches nowadays are more progressive and not just focused on all the GOD SATAN HEAVEN HELL SIN REPENT .
hahaha what the BRO. church son? on everyone on this ing board you're probably the least religious or churchgoer on here. sounds like you guys are bored AF.
im pretty hammed right now but i think you have a point to an extent with human interaction being selfish as with the "people don't give much of a about each other or look out for each other, or take care of each other and hold each other accountable to one another." comment. capitalism and being vein is in big time.
Silky Johnson
You clearly have a reading comprehension problem. I wasn't talking about religion at all, you ing moron. Massive ing WHOOSH to you.
Good lord I even said "the religion/church stuff is inconsequential."
Oh well, can't help the stupid I guess.
edit: I see you said you were "hammed" when you posted your reply. No excuse!!!
Lira
Is anyone else here a public servant?
The "making friends at work" bit is something of a moot point when you know for a fact you'll be working with your peers until you retire. Most people are sweethearts, but you just know for a fact you'll have to get over your frenemies and learn how to ignore the occasional tosser who feeds on drama, because these are the people you'll spend most of your life with, so you better get along :p
pkcRAISTLIN
i think i've been pretty lucky in the work context. i've made quite a few friends who i consider best mates (though i don't tend to make any other kind of friend as i'm really bad at being friendly to people i don't care about). as jack noted above, these are the people you spend a huge amount of time with so in my previously stressful role, the peeps i had around me were the only thing getting me through the day. thousands of hours plus a 'brothers in arms' effect can be fairly significant.
pkcRAISTLIN
quote:
Originally posted by Lira
Is anyone else here a public servant?
The "making friends at work" bit is something of a moot point when you know for a fact you'll be working with your peers until you retire. Most people are sweethearts, but you just know for a fact you'll have to get over your frenemies and learn how to ignore the occasional tosser who feeds on drama, because these are the people you'll spend most of your life with, so you better get along :p
yes i am, and totally disagree with your unrelenting cheeriness!
Silky Johnson
quote:
Originally posted by Lira
Is anyone else here a public servant?
The "making friends at work" bit is something of a moot point when you know for a fact you'll be working with your peers until you retire. Most people are sweethearts, but you just know for a fact you'll have to get over your frenemies and learn how to ignore the occasional tosser who feeds on drama, because these are the people you'll spend most of your life with, so you better get along :p
Ffs , didn't you read my post(s)? I did say this, sort of, already. Yes I am a public servant, and I agree with you. :o
planetaryplayer
i'm a private slave and disagree with everything. i eat stim pax n stem sellz
Silky Johnson
:stongue:
Funny you should mention stem cells; we're collecting and banking our baby's cord blood and tissue when she's born! Yay science!
OrangestO
quote:
Originally posted by Silky Johnson
:stongue:
Funny you should mention stem cells; we're collecting and banking our baby's cord blood and tissue when she's born! Yay science!
