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In search of romance (pg. 14)
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| jasmyn |
| quote: | Originally posted by Orbax
wether or not I pretend to agree. |
ahaha, right. then you are not being yourself, so why would i want to talk with a guy who's a fake! :p
;) |
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| DigiNut |
| quote: | Originally posted by jasmyn
i don't think there is an objective standard for what constitutes as romance. every woman is different and every man is different, what they each want from a relationship and everything else in between is different. like i said before, its a matter of finding the right balance between the two people involved in the relationship. you just need to find someone who shares your view about what romance is and start from there. |
What he's saying is that some women change their definition of romance/love on a whim to suit however they're feeling at any given moment. Something that's romantic at one time could be stupid/lame/boring/offensive when that woman has, say, taken an interest in a different guy. And when a woman can't seem to figure out what she actually wants, words like love and romance become useless.
Again, not that I'm trying to generalize for all women, but it happens a lot.
P.S. I like that we're finally starting to see some intelligent contributions instead of the same old crappy emotional rhetoric. :D |
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| Orbax |
| quote: | Originally posted by jasmyn
ahaha, right. then you are not being yourself, so why would i want to talk with a guy who's a fake! :p
;) |
what if pretending to agree is how I express myself, then im being real, and youd have to talk at that point. |
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| Orbax |
| I take it by your silence you are attempting to find a picture of yourself. |
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| jasmyn |
| quote: | Originally posted by Orbax
what if pretending to agree is how I express myself, then im being real, and youd have to talk at that point. |
but if you're pretending to agree is something you do on a regular basis, then how do you know what's real or not? how do you know what it is that you truly believe in, like, or dislike if you're constantly pretending to agree with others? |
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| jasmyn |
| quote: | Originally posted by Orbax
I take it by your silence you are attempting to find a picture of yourself. |
haha, you wish! :p |
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| jasmyn |
| quote: | Originally posted by DigiNut
What he's saying is that some women change their definition of romance/love on a whim to suit however they're feeling at any given moment. Something that's romantic at one time could be stupid/lame/boring/offensive when that woman has, say, taken an interest in a different guy. And when a woman can't seem to figure out what she actually wants, words like love and romance become useless.
Again, not that I'm trying to generalize for all women, but it happens a lot.
P.S. I like that we're finally starting to see some intelligent contributions instead of the same old crappy emotional rhetoric. :D |
same here! i'm glad there are some people willing to engage in a discussion! ;)
i agree that some women do change their definition of what is romantic according to their situation at a given moment. but it's not totally one-sided either. some guys do play games as well, even though they are not romantic per say. but they do and say things they don't mean or say things they never intend to do, sometimes they'll do anything just to get a girl into bed. vice versa as well of course! ;) |
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| Orbax |
| quote: | Originally posted by jasmyn
but if you're pretending to agree is something you do on a regular basis, then how do you know what's real or not? how do you know what it is that you truly believe in, like, or dislike if you're constantly pretending to agree with others? |
youre absolutely right. |
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| jasmyn |
| quote: | Originally posted by Orbax
youre absolutely right. |
haha. sure i am. whatever you say. |
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| Orbax |
well...romance the way you guys are defining it is an elicited response, practically an emotion. a shifting paradigm that one cannot define. Then you say its gone, or still there. Doesnt really matter. If it is basically an action that makes you feel wanted or desired, or "special" and I would say that pretty much nothing has changed except the society which encapsulates that desire/emotion. We dont have walls to sing over and throw flowers into. Rowing people out to lakes and putting champagne on a float in the middle, or whatever just isnt feasible for everyone.
some have to make do with cheese pizza and a hug.
welcome to reality, and the only thing that can make it romantic is being with someone you love. |
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| DigiNut |
| quote: | Originally posted by jasmyn
same here! i'm glad there are some people willing to engage in a discussion! ;)
i agree that some women do change their definition of what is romantic according to their situation at a given moment. but it's not totally one-sided either. some guys do play games as well, even though they are not romantic per say. but they do and say things they don't mean or say things they never intend to do, sometimes they'll do anything just to get a girl into bed. vice versa as well of course! ;) |
For sure, it totally happens both ways. I think these people are probably dishonest in general and not just in relationships, and being dishonest in any sense is, well, not a good thing.
My only question is - and I don't mean to sound too one-sided about this - but when a guy will say anything to get a girl into bed, his motivation is clear and he knows what he's doing. Like the whole thing is kind of calculated in a way (which I'm not saying is a good thing). But I never see guys do what I see some girls do, which is pretend to like guys that they're really not interested in at all. And I mean, they'll carry this on for days, weeks, even months, before finally blowing the guy off without any warning or explanation (if they're really pressured, they'll sometimes come up with some lame excuse).
Why? What does this accomplish? I think that's just as mean if not meaner than guys lying for sex, because it drags on for soooo long, and finding out that someone's been lying for 2 months or 2 years is a lot worse than finding out they've been lying for 2 weeks. I think that's part of the reason why some guys just totally refuse to *wait* for sex in a relationship, because they have a genuine concern for this type of thing happening. (I'm not one of those guys and I totally HAVE to wait for that, but I don't find it hard to understand the guys who won't).
Any thoughts on that?
(Edit: this is a little off topic I guess but I think it does tie into the whole romance concept... I think we men really need to know when we're being romantic and when we're just fighting for a lost cause, and the only way for us to know and not get hurt is either for us to assume the worst or for the girls to stop beating around the bush so often!) |
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| Orbax |
a female friend of mine said to me once "i was totally attracted to this guy, but he didnt notice me, and after a while his friend asked me out...I wasnt doing anything so I said yes even though I was totally neutral to him"
she ended up dumping him when he became obsessed with her.
people are morons, people like blood sausage (admittedly delicious in the form of Black Pudding) |
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