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spanking... (pg. 4)
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| Estella |
| quote: | Originally posted by Orbax
dude, not spanking your kid EVER is the same absolutist bull that makes someone spit out crap like "Nobody should ever fight, go to war, or be mean to someone else......in a perfect world. I forgot about rapists, murderers, and the plethora of other ty people out there that make utopian ideals impossible."
ive met too many heads that had nice ass parents before and are getting SCREWED in life. You may think you are doing a service to your child but not teaching them the idea that, if you do something bad enough, the hammer comes down...whats the repurcussion? I on the dining room table and I read the dictionary out loud. I hit my sister, I read the dictionary out loud. There needs to be another level, where physical contact, which im sure if you are learning about human interaction, is a HUGE thing.
Half the time I didn't even get spanked that hard. It was the fact I was getting spanked that had shown me I was finally having my DAD come out and repimand me and he wasn't as nice or fun as my mom and all of a sudden I had this huge index of good to bad actions, and what is crossing the line from a mom punishment to a dad punishment.
it just makes more sense.
if you are asking about child rearing in general, yes positive is better than negative, but absolutes of either are BS and like everything else in the world, its a mix. |
hey heyyyy . why are you dissing on my tactic? I said, "A to D NOW, *bitch*. I added the extra profanity to let the child know I WAS bigger, fear me.
Actually I see what your saying also.
I just don't want the only thing detering little Miss Sally from spitting in Johnny's face is the repercussions of my hand against her bosom. She needs to understand WHY you don't do those naughty things. I would want the childs process to be "oh, I shouldn't do this because it's disrespectful." instead of "oh, I'm not going to do this because I don't want to feel the sting of that spatulla against my shins." |
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| Floorfiller |
| quote: | Originally posted by Estella
hey heyyyy . why are you dissing on my tactic? I said, "A to D NOW, *bitch*. I added the extra profanity to let the child know I WAS bigger, fear me.
Actually I see what your saying also.
I just don't want the only thing detering little Miss Sally from spitting in Johnny's face is the repercussions of my hand against her bosom. She needs to understand WHY you don't do those naughty things. I would want the childs process to be "oh, I shouldn't do this because it's disrespectful." instead of "oh, I'm not going to do this because I don't want to feel the sting of that spatulla against my shins." |
would you like to feel my hand against your bosom?
:nervous:
:stongue: :p |
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| Orbax |
concepts of respect, hierarchy, morality, civility, propriety, etc...are fairly abstract concepts that you don't really follow even to this day for any reason other than you should. Sometimes its just a swift cuffing and "dont do that, its wrong"
then when you are 18 you get to re-evaluate your values and see if your parents were right.
Most people are surprisingly able to move through life, but I think the levels of difference between the motivated successful baby boomers and the apathetic isolated and lonely Gen Xers is probably more due to "im kicking you out of the house after slapping you for 18 years. Go be a star kid"
It just seems that a balanced approach is probably the right thing to doo.. |
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| nchs09 |
| quote: | Originally posted by Orbax
its in the context of everything else I wrote. It was pointing out there is a significant delineation between actions that are misdemeanors and felonies as far as parental actions are based on.
seperating mom vs dad punishment, mental vs social vs physical will give someone a MUCH more defined view of "Ok so when I hit women, I get the kicked out of me"
my brother hit my sister when he was 12 and to this day he laughs about how hard he will NEVER lay hands on a woman. My dad rocks.
Its things like that where now, there are 2 brothers out in the world who think, and correctly :D, that if you ever touch a woman, you're going to get your ass kicked.
Ive seen dudes slap their girlfriends in bars and at parties and the next thing I know Im climbing over tables and jumping couches to slam these guys heads into the walls.
how much you want to bet no one ever showed them what happens when you do that kind of action? |
how much u want to bet there is a positive corolation between them being violent and them being hit when they were young?... show respect, get respect
ps. i need microsoft word cause i dont know how to spell corolation :( |
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| Orbax |
hehe yeah you do :p
In the end, I am just going to say that I think violence is justified because there are people out there that are 28 years old and still think its ok to hit a woman (or something equally terrible) and I can almost promise that after 28 years, someone walking up and enlightening them has very low odds of getting past "hey man you shouldnt hit your.." *him punching you out and telling you to mind you own business* |
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| Floorfiller |
| quote: | Originally posted by nchs09
how much u want to bet there is a positive corolation between them being violent and them being hit when they were young?... show respect, get respect
ps. i need microsoft word cause i dont know how to spell corolation :( |
if that was true why is it that the entire population isn't out there beating up women? you just proved yourself that you are the minority when it comes to having been spanked. |
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| nchs09 |
| quote: | Originally posted by Floorfiller
if that was true why is it that the entire population isn't out there beating up women? you just proved yourself that you are the minority when it comes to having been spanked. |
no but according to his logic as well... if everyone gets spanked then noone would beat women etc. if i unerstood correctly |
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| Floorfiller |
| quote: | Originally posted by nchs09
no but according to his logic as well... if everyone gets spanked then noone would beat women etc. if i unerstood correctly |
see once again i say there is a difference between beating someone and spanking. perhaps kids that are beat and i mean kicked the out of as kids develop violent tendencies or something, but spanking is not that severe... |
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| FallingMoon |
| Spanking is not a form of violence unless the parent is taking out there rage on their kid. I mean really...spanking is not all that bad...there are kids in this world who have gotten beaten the crap out of them for NO reason & you're telling me when a kid DOES something wrong they should just be yelled at or put in "time out"?? WTF...talking doesn't always help. I mean really, look at it this way...a really disrespectful kid gets put on time out or grounded & he's laughing at his parents behind their back...the point it to make your kids respect you not fear you. |
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| nchs09 |
| i think its bad. i think there are different methods of showing a kid the right way to do things. it might take more patience but its better. i cant see how u guys dont see that :( |
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| Zombie0729 |
| quote: | Originally posted by Orbax
hehe yeah you do :p
In the end, I am just going to say that I think violence is justified because there are people out there that are 28 years old and still think its ok to hit a woman (or something equally terrible) and I can almost promise that after 28 years, someone walking up and enlightening them has very low odds of getting past "hey man you shouldnt hit your.." *him punching you out and telling you to mind you own business* |
thats a really interesting point and i was actually too scared to ask my sociology teacher last night what age he thinks 90%-100% of social conditioning is formed. although our topic last night was about black racism and i'm like the only white kid in the whole class i felt uncomfortable asking.
i did some independent research on my own last night and from the readings of most pyschoanalysts social conditioning is learned and interrupted from 6-14. Generally 14-18 they rebel but still have same conditioning. They said social conditioning can last until late 50's. so i dunno what the right answer is |
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| nchs09 |
| quote: | Originally posted by Orbax
hehe yeah you do :p
In the end, I am just going to say that I think violence is justified because there are people out there that are 28 years old and still think its ok to hit a woman (or something equally terrible) and I can almost promise that after 28 years, someone walking up and enlightening them has very low odds of getting past "hey man you shouldnt hit your.." *him punching you out and telling you to mind you own business* |
oh ya im taking about with children |
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