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another joke thread (pg. 4)
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| Slylee |
oh
that's not that funny.
i have some good ones but they're the kind u have to tell in person. oh well. |
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| infinity HiGH |
| quote: | Originally posted by gehzumteufel
lol heres a good one.
Q:why do all black people have nightmares?
A:because the last one that had a dream go shot! |
i like a good racist joke, but that just sucked .
| quote: | Originally posted by Miss Julia
i wanna see some chuck norris jokes |
Chuck Norris doesn't breath, he holds air hostage. |
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| flymo-meek |
Woman and her husband are driving down the motorway when a traffic cop pulls them over.
He goes to the car, sir do you know you were swerving all over the road?
The husband starts to explain when his wife pipes up 'he's a ing idiot driving like a maniac'
The husband turns to her 'shut up alright!'
Cop says can i see your licence please sir?
Husband says i dont have it on me sorry officer. The wife starts shouting and screaming 'You prick, waste of space cant do anything right, dont know why i married you. You wanker!!!'
Husband turns to her again 'will you just shut your ing mouth!!!'
Cop says ok. Can you step out of the car please sir.
The wife again loses the plot 'You ing prick! Look what you've done! You are ing idiot!!!'
Husband snaps 'Right you better shut the hell up or im gonna break your nose you little ing slut!!!'
The cop says to her 'Does he always talk to you like that?'
The wife replies 'Only when he's been drinking' |
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| flymo-meek |
| There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris. |
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| Miss Julia |
| ROFL! I can never get enough of Chuck Norris jokes! |
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| Slylee |
| quote: | Originally posted by lücid
what do you call a black guy who flies an airplane for a living?
a pilot, you ing racist! |
AAhhaha
i totally forgot about that one, i used to tell it a lot. |
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| Tigo |
After telling a bunch of ****** jokes...proceed to this one.
"Seriously.....I don’t have a problem with ******s....I think everyone should own one!"
*** Tigo, theres a reason why there's a censor on that word, and it's not there so you can bypass it. ;) |
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| Slylee |
it's way funnier when i tell this one, but whatever lol
So this farmer brings in 3 strapping young men to help him put on a new roof. He brings them into his home and introduces them to his wife and hot young daughter.
“this is my wife and daughter. Now listen fellas, u guys are gonna be sleeping out in the barn and not one of you is to step foot in this house while you are staying here and helping me fix my roof, blab la bla”
The whole time he’s saying this, the daughter is standing behind her dad giving the guys naughty looks and winking at them.
So later that night, the 3 guys are in the barn drinking beer and talking about how they all want to the daughter. So the first guy is like, “she’s gonna get it, I’m sneaking in to do it”
So he sneaks in the house and he’s on his way up the stairs and all of a sudden there is a loud, “CREEEEEK” and he freezes. The father busts open his bedroom door upstairs with a shotgun and goes, “WHO’S THERE!” and so the guy makes a funny “Meeoooowwww” noise and the father goes, “ahh , it’s just the cat” and goes back in his bedroom.
The guy continues up the stairs and bangs the daughter and sneaks back to the barn to tell about it.
So the 2nd guy is like, “man, I’m going to get some” and as he’s leaving, the first guy goes, “oh yea, dude…try not to step on like the 4th step I think….it makes noise. Just meow like the cat if u do and he comes out with his gun”
“ok”
So he goes, and tries to miss the step, but fails. “CREEEEEK”
“WHO’S THERE!”
“Meeoowwww”
“oh dang, the cat again”
So he bangs the daughter and makes his way back to the barn. By this time the 2 other guys are hammered. So the 3rd guy is like, “ok fellas, I’m up!” and on his way out the door, the other guy goes, “dude! Remember! If u step on the noisy step, just pretend you’re the cat”
“yea yea, I know”
So he goes, and sure enough…steps on the noisy step.
“WHO’S THERE!”
“IT’S ME! THE CAT!” |
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| occrider |
A few other perrenial favorites that I'm sure a few of you have heard:
Q: What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
A: Nothing. You've already told that bitch twice.
Q: What's better than winning the special olympics?
A: Not being retarded.
Q: What's the best part of a blowjob?
A: The 10 minutes of silence.
Q: What does old lady vagina taste like?
A: Depends.
My favorite stupid joke:
Q: What's brown and sticky?
A: A stick.
And this is a geeky one I like:
Q: Two cats are on a sloping roof, and they beging to slide off. Which one falls off first?
A: The one with the smallest mew. |
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| Slylee |
what's the first thing a woman does when she gets home from the womens shelter?
the dishes if she knows what's good for her |
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| lücid |
| quote: | Originally posted by Slylee
it's way funnier when i tell this one, but whatever lol
So this farmer brings in 3 strapping young men to help him put on a new roof. He brings them into his home and introduces them to his wife and hot young daughter.
“this is my wife and daughter. Now listen fellas, u guys are gonna be sleeping out in the barn and not one of you is to step foot in this house while you are staying here and helping me fix my roof, blab la bla”
The whole time he’s saying this, the daughter is standing behind her dad giving the guys naughty looks and winking at them.
So later that night, the 3 guys are in the barn drinking beer and talking about how they all want to the daughter. So the first guy is like, “she’s gonna get it, I’m sneaking in to do it”
So he sneaks in the house and he’s on his way up the stairs and all of a sudden there is a loud, “CREEEEEK” and he freezes. The father busts open his bedroom door upstairs with a shotgun and goes, “WHO’S THERE!” and so the guy makes a funny “Meeoooowwww” noise and the father goes, “ahh , it’s just the cat” and goes back in his bedroom.
The guy continues up the stairs and bangs the daughter and sneaks back to the barn to tell about it.
So the 2nd guy is like, “man, I’m going to get some” and as he’s leaving, the first guy goes, “oh yea, dude…try not to step on like the 4th step I think….it makes noise. Just meow like the cat if u do and he comes out with his gun”
“ok”
So he goes, and tries to miss the step, but fails. “CREEEEEK”
“WHO’S THERE!”
“Meeoowwww”
“oh dang, the cat again”
So he bangs the daughter and makes his way back to the barn. By this time the 2 other guys are hammered. So the 3rd guy is like, “ok fellas, I’m up!” and on his way out the door, the other guy goes, “dude! Remember! If u step on the noisy step, just pretend you’re the cat”
“yea yea, I know”
So he goes, and sure enough…steps on the noisy step.
“WHO’S THERE!”
“IT’S ME! THE CAT!” |
bahahahahahaha! :stongue: |
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