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another joke thread (pg. 9)
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View this Thread in Original format
| dj tek |
| quote: | Originally posted by occrider
Ok I've been holding this one back, but I can'ts no longer.
Q: What did the Nazi say to the black Jew?
A: You get in the back of the oven. |
LMAO |
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| Slylee |
| quote: | Originally posted by occrider
Ok I've been holding this one back, but I can'ts no longer.
Q: What did the Nazi say to the black Jew?
A: You get in the back of the oven. |
are u jewish or black? |
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| bas |
| quote: | Originally posted by Slylee
are u jewish or black? |
I heard he converted to black just so he could tell the jokes. That bastard. |
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| Omega_M |
| quote: | Originally posted by Slylee
are u jewish or black? |
he's the nazi. |
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| Marc Summers |
A white guy walks into a bar.
The bartender asks what he'll have.
The white guy says, "Yeah I'll have a beer" |
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| bas |
| quote: | Originally posted by Orbax
I wasnt trying to surprise you IGK. If I was id have a naked 10 year old pop out of your closet. |
That wouldn't surprise him either. |
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| washout |
an officer is sitting in his patrol car outside of a bar, monitoring potential DUI's.
he see's this man stumble out and look for his vehicle.
the man finally falls into his vehicle after trying his key in several others.
next, the officer pulls out of the parking lot, following the man.
after observing the man driving make several swerves, failing to maintain a single lane, the officer turns on his lights.
the officer asks the man to take a breathalizer, and the driver happily aggrees.
after consulting the test results, the officer says "this must be broke, the reading says you are sober."
the driver smiled and replied "no, its not broke, i am the designated decoy." |
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| montana |
A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, " I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir."
The driver says, " I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating."
Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: "Now don't be silly dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control."
As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, "Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?"
The wife smiles demurely and says, "You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did."
As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, "Darn it, woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?"
The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic £75 fine."
The driver says, "Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket."
The wife says, "Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving."
And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks, "WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE... SHUT UP??"
The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your husband always talk to you this way, Madam?
"Only when he's been drinking." |
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| washout |
| quote: | Originally posted by montana
"Only when he's been drinking." |
that ing sucks. |
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| occrider |
| quote: | Originally posted by Omega_M
he's the nazi. |
Spot on. I prefer the more traditional National Socialist however. |
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| dj tek |
| quote: | Originally posted by flymo-meek
Woman and her husband are driving down the motorway when a traffic cop pulls them over.
He goes to the car, sir do you know you were swerving all over the road?
The husband starts to explain when his wife pipes up 'he's a ing idiot driving like a maniac'
The husband turns to her 'shut up alright!'
Cop says can i see your licence please sir?
Husband says i dont have it on me sorry officer. The wife starts shouting and screaming 'You prick, waste of space cant do anything right, dont know why i married you. You wanker!!!'
Husband turns to her again 'will you just shut your ing mouth!!!'
Cop says ok. Can you step out of the car please sir.
The wife again loses the plot 'You ing prick! Look what you've done! You are ing idiot!!!'
Husband snaps 'Right you better shut the hell up or im gonna break your nose you little ing slut!!!'
The cop says to her 'Does he always talk to you like that?'
The wife replies 'Only when he's been drinking' |
| quote: | Originally posted by montana
A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, " I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir."
The driver says, " I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating."
Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: "Now don't be silly dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control."
As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, "Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?"
The wife smiles demurely and says, "You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did."
As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, "Darn it, woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?"
The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic £75 fine."
The driver says, "Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket."
The wife says, "Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving."
And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks, "WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE... SHUT UP??"
The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your husband always talk to you this way, Madam?
"Only when he's been drinking." |
lets not repeat bad jokes :whip: |
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