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another joke thread (pg. 6)
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View this Thread in Original format
| lücid |
| quote: | Originally posted by Orbax
id do a "fixed" swapping out IGK for the pacifier somehow but Lucid warned me earlier :( |
naughty, naughty! |
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| DJ_Eternal |
Mother and Father are sitting in the living room watching TV. The father is hungry and asks the wife to get him something to munch on and his wife grabs a bag of peanuts from the kitchen. The father's sitting on the couch, doing the 'cool' thing and throwing the peanuts up in the air, trying to catch them in his mouth. As one drops into his mouth, the wife uncannily talks to him and as he turns, the peanut gets lodged in his ear.
The peanut is well-lodged in his ear-hole and both try their upmost to try and get the darn thing out with no joy. At this moment, the daughter and her boyfriend come downstairs to see what all the commotion is all about. Dad explains that he's got a peanut in his lug-hole and the boyfriend tells him that he knows a way of getting it out. The boyfriend sticks two fingers in the dad's mouth and tell him to blow realllly hard. The peanut flies out of his ear and across the sitting room.
"Thanks very much, you've saved me a trip to the hospital" says the father.
" No problem at all" says the boyfriend.
Later when the daughter and boyfriend have gone back upstairs, the wife turns to the husband and says:
" That's an intelligent boy that our daughters dating, what do you think he'll be when he gets older, love?"
The husband turns slowly and says, " From the smell of his fingers, our Son In Law!". |
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| SuspicionVandit |
| Asked about his views on euthanasia, Clinton replied, "Youth in Asia are just like kids everywhere else." |
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| Psy-T |
| quote: | Originally posted by SuspicionVandit
Asked about his views on euthanasia, Clinton replied, "Youth in Asia are just like kids everywhere else." |
shouldn't that be a bush joke? :conf: |
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| SuspicionVandit |
| quote: | Originally posted by Psy-T
shouldn't that be a bush joke? :conf: |
i don't want to get snuffed :X |
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| DigitalPhoenix |
What did Bush say to the monkey in the zoo??
"Dont tell your momma I wuz here" |
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| Enigmatic XTC |
Q. Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive?
A. She was a woman
Q. How is a black man like sperm?
A. One in 200 million does his job.
Q. What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
A. It only takes one nail to hang the picture.
And one i made up:
Q. Why are jews such brilliant thinkers?
A. They went to concentration camp. |
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| Psy-T |
| quote: | Originally posted by Enigmatic XTC
And one i made up:
Q. Why are jews such brilliant thinkers?
A. They went to concentration camp. |
lol |
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| Sunsnail |
| quote: | Originally posted by DJ_Eternal
Mother and Father are sitting in the living room watching TV. The father is hungry and asks the wife to get him something to munch on and his wife grabs a bag of peanuts from the kitchen. The father's sitting on the couch, doing the 'cool' thing and throwing the peanuts up in the air, trying to catch them in his mouth. As one drops into his mouth, the wife uncannily talks to him and as he turns, the peanut gets lodged in his ear.
The peanut is well-lodged in his ear-hole and both try their upmost to try and get the darn thing out with no joy. At this moment, the daughter and her boyfriend come downstairs to see what all the commotion is all about. Dad explains that he's got a peanut in his lug-hole and the boyfriend tells him that he knows a way of getting it out. The boyfriend sticks two fingers in the dad's mouth and tell him to blow realllly hard. The peanut flies out of his ear and across the sitting room.
"Thanks very much, you've saved me a trip to the hospital" says the father.
" No problem at all" says the boyfriend.
Later when the daughter and boyfriend have gone back upstairs, the wife turns to the husband and says:
" That's an intelligent boy that our daughters dating, what do you think he'll be when he gets older, love?"
The husband turns slowly and says, " From the smell of his fingers, our Son In Law!". |
my favorite one in this thread |
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| spiflicated |
| quote: | Originally posted by Psy-T
shouldn't that be a bush joke? :conf: |
:stongue: :haha: :stongue: :haha: :stongue: |
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| occrider |
| quote: | Originally posted by SuspicionVandit
Asked about his views on euthanasia, Clinton replied, "Youth in Asia are just like kids everywhere else." |
President Clinton is sitting in the oval office looking over some papers when an aide enters and lays an official document from Congress before the president.
"What's this?" asks Clinton.
"It's the abortion bill Mr. President," the aide responds.
"Well I don't want to see it! Just pay the damn thing!" exclaims Bill.
Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing. He concludes by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed."
"OH NO!" the President exclaims. "That's terrible!"
His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sits, head in hands, weeping.
Finally, the President looks up and asks, "How many is a brazillion?" |
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| Orbax |
| quote: | Originally posted by occrider
Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing. He concludes by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed."
"OH NO!" the President exclaims. "That's terrible!"
His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sits, head in hands, weeping.
Finally, the President looks up and asks, "How many is a brazillion?" |
lol |
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