Originally posted by Slylee
banora you've just been around some ty people and had some ty boyfriends maybe (??) but there are some good guys out there...you need to learn what to look for and be able to recognize red flags and this will (well, it's supposed to) come with age and experience. and finding and keeping those kind of guys requires confidence, which also comes with age.
that's just my 2 cents.
Actually, I don't put up with any from guys. If they attempt to treat me badly, I walk. I have no time for it. Most of the guys I've been in real relationships with have been pretty good guys for the most part (that musician I mentioned stands out the most in my mind for being upfront with me about what would happen if we stayed together while he toured).
Of all the guys I've dated I have no idea if they were cheaters or not, I usually have lost interest by the time I get to the point I can know them well enough to notice classic signs.
quote:
Originally posted by jennypie
Bahaha omg I'm sorry Banora. Getting carried away..I'll stop. Don't reply to that post. :p
Too late! :p You're keeping me from being bored in class anyway. Besides, I like debating, especially with someone who has a strong opposite opinion than I.
quote:
Originally posted by jennypie
How many times have you cheated?
Once. I was 16. I haven't cheated since because, well, I wasn't tempted to.
Silky Johnson
BANORA'S A WITCH! BURN HER!!!
Banora
quote:
Originally posted by jennypie
BANORA'S A WITCH! BURN HER!!!
Catch me. -poofs-
astroboy
quote:
Originally posted by Banora
But what if you get married and your wife turns into an absolute psycho? You hate her, you have fallen out of love with her, but you stick around for the kids.
That wouldn't be "cheating on someone you love".
Though going back to the conditions of the hypothetical - I wouldn't stick around "for the kids". I think in most cases divorce is the better option for everyone including the kids. Unless she's a real sociopath who you don't trust to be in charge of the kids.. in which case I wouldn't marry her in the first place, and I definitely wouldn't have kids with her. If you make a policy to live with someone for a few years before getting married and to stay married for a few years before you have kids, you're pretty likely to weed the psychos out.
Lira
quote:
Originally posted by Banora
But what if you get married and your wife turns into an absolute psycho? You hate her, you have fallen out of love with her, but you stick around for the kids. Would you cheat or would you remain miserable and settle for grudgingly half-hearted hate sex?
I'd be brutally honest with her. I don't think "sticking around for the kids" would be a good idea if I can't be a happy husband (and, therefore, an unhappy father). Cheating, in this case, reeks of insecurity: you're too afraid to get out of a relationship, yet you act as if you were outside it.
Whenever I have a problem with my fiancée, I may even wait for the right moment to talk to her, but I try to be as clear as possible about the things I don't like. I learnt to be honest in the school of hard knocks, as I used to keep it all to myself and I almost left the relationship without telling her what my reasons were. So far, she seems to be doing the same, being very transparent about her every thought.
The17sss
quote:
Originally posted by Lira
I'd be brutally honest with her. I don't think "sticking around for the kids" would be a good idea if I can't be a happy husband (and, therefore, an unhappy father). Cheating, in this case, reeks of insecurity: you're too afraid to get out of a relationship, yet you act as if you were outside it.
+1
"We stayed together for the kids" doesn't work out... for the parents or the kids.
ChemEnhanced
quote:
Originally posted by jennypie
I've never done it. My bf has never done it. Many, almost ALL, of my friends have never done it.
I think you just know ty people, lol.
maybe the right conditions haven't been met.
What if you, your BF and a doctor were stuck in an elevator and for some reason your BF was going to die in the next 20 minutes. The doctor says he could save your BF but you had to have sex with the doctor before he would. Would you cheat then?
Halcyon+On+On
Yeah, what the . ing cheater.
Lira
quote:
Originally posted by ChemEnhanced
maybe the right conditions haven't been met.
Sometimes I wonder: Would all of you situationists forgive a cheating partner if (s)he said "the moment made him/her do it"? :conf:
