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BF/GFs who are friends with their exes (pg. 10)
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| Candeeman |
| quote: | Originally posted by KiNeTiC ENeRgY
I don't think one should be seeing any ex's at all if you are in a new relationship. Once you have been banging someone, you can't just go back to being "friends" or hang out and not have sex on the mind. I don't care how mature you think you are, it can't happen. The relationship ended for a reason, so move on. There are many many more people you can make friends with. Leave your ex's alone and move on. All it takes is a little fight and what do most people do..they call the ex for the "dick in a jar" or vagina and then their ing, or talking about it. It ruins any further relationships. |
plus facking one!!!
How can two people make mad love for years and then just stop and become 'friends?' Every time they need someone to talk to for advice, they will call their former s.o. and be like, "well, remember when were in love and this happened and that happened." Gimme a break.......
The brightest future is based on a forgotten past. |
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| Slylee |
even though i made the thread about being jealous with this, i will tell you right now that you are 100% wrong. i wouldn't go as far as to say i'm "friends" with my ex, but we definitely talk once in a blue moon and still have mutual friends...we're on each other's facebook/myspace and that's about it. we have been broken up for about 3 years now, (a little more even) and there are absolutely NO sexual/romantic feelings between us at all.
i'm not saying he would kick me out of bed or turn me down if i was like "hey let's ", but i would never say that to him. in fact, i am not even remotely attracted to him any more. lol
also, when i get involved with a guy, i usually dont talk to him hardly ever. but when i'm single, we have more contact. i'll call him up when i feel like partying cuz he's a partyboy and always going out and he's solid when it comes to having a good time.
i'm pretty sure i already said this a few pages back in more or less words, but i didn't feel like looking for it. |
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| The17sss |
| quote: | Originally posted by Slylee
even though i made the thread about being jealous with this, i will tell you right now that you are 100% wrong. i wouldn't go as far as to say i'm "friends" with my ex, but we definitely talk once in a blue moon and still have mutual friends...we're on each other's facebook/myspace and that's about it. we have been broken up for about 3 years now, (a little more even) and there are absolutely NO sexual/romantic feelings between us at all.
i'm not saying he would kick me out of bed or turn me down if i was like "hey let's ", but i would never say that to him. in fact, i am not even remotely attracted to him any more. |
Well it's definitely not there for YOU... but it may very will be (and I guarantee it is) for him. So it's difficult to use this as an example when you're only sure about your side of the coin:cool: |
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| Slylee |
yea i guess you're right. maybe i realize that and this is the real reason why i'm uncomfortable with my guy being friends with his ex. i don't think he still has feelings for her. he has made it clear that she isn't even a pimple on my ass and all of his friends love me nad have made comments about her (negative ones)...so i guess i just find it hard to believe that she doesn't still have feelings for him. it would be hard not to, he's a doll and very charming.
whatever i'm just gonna play along and work on my confidence in this department until i have to choke a bitch. :haha: |
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| The17sss |
| quote: | Originally posted by Slylee
yea i guess you're right. maybe i realize that and this is the real reason why i'm uncomfortable with my guy being friends with his ex. i don't think he still has feelings for her. he has made it clear that she isn't even a pimple on my ass and all of his friends love me nad have made comments about her (negative ones)...so i guess i just find it hard to believe that she doesn't still have feelings for him. it would be hard not to, he's a doll and very charming.
whatever i'm just gonna play along and work on my confidence in this department until i have to choke a bitch. :haha: |
he's made it clear through words or actions? why's she anything more than an afterthought if she's less than a pimple on your ass? I'm sure you're right and he doesn't still have the hots for her, but a lot of times guys will still keep the back burners alive because it's a slight ego boost to them, even if they don't plan on doing anything with them. I just hope it's not being done at the risk of your relationship
Haha... choke the bitch. I like that. :stongue: |
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| Slylee |
well yea when we had the talk about how it bothered me.
this is how it went down. i'll try to keep it short.
i had 4 marlins/mets tickets and none of my friends could go and i asked him if any of his friends would go with us. he was like "yea but uhh..i dunno if u will want to go with them"...of course i was like "what do u mean". then he explained it was his ex and her bf and how he is still friends with them, bla bla bla. i was so filled with rage when i heard this, but i remained calm, yet distant the rest of the night. then i cut it short and went home. i needed to cool off and think about it, i knew i was being ridiculous. i told him the next day it bothered me and we had a talk and i got more mad and said i needed some space from him and he freaked out. wouldn't give me my space and was texting me that he was really worried and he missed me, etc....
i felt bad (even though i needed my space and was OK with not seeing him for the weekend) so i saw him over the weekend anyway just to make him feel better and also cuz i thought " i dont want to spend the long weekend without seeing him...or without getting laid lol) and when i went there he was assuring me i had nothing to worry about and that there is no comparison bla bla bla and that they were friends before and he has no hard feelings towards her and that it just feels natural to continue being friends with her, etc... so i decided my jealousy wasn't worth losing him and said i was gonna work through it and everything is OK for now.
but then a part of me thinks, "is it really worth it to HIM to keep this so called friendship at the sacrifice of his new girlfriend's feelings"? |
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| The17sss |
| quote: | Originally posted by Slylee
i was so filled with rage when i heard this, but i remained calm, yet distant the rest of the night. then i cut it short and went home. i needed to cool off and think about it, i knew i was being ridiculous.
but then a part of me thinks, "is it really worth it to HIM to keep this so called friendship at the sacrifice of his new girlfriend's feelings"? |
first part: not rediculous at all. sounds a lot like how i would react... furious inside but no knee jerk reaction, and needing some space to reflect before talking about it.
second part: my point exactly |
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| Slylee |
| well i'm gonna give it a shot and hang out w/ this chick...see what it's all about. but if it's a real struggle for me then i'll probably just break up with him and tell him that it's too much work and we should probably just cut our losses. |
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| UmmiE |
I have always cut all sorts of communication means with my past gfs when we it was over...no msn, no facebook,phone calls,no meet ups or going out at all.
1)It helped me get over from the past.
2)I didnt have to deal with bull of any sort....I dont even bother with stuff I gave you give it back to me deal...I think its a very cheap move once you give a gift its over doesnt matter how pricey it is or what its made of.
make life simple and life it easy dont complicate things for yourself......If you cant be in a relationship together you shouldnt be friends either.........Thats me and has always worked for me....no regrets here. |
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| Slylee |
the way i see it is if he is super bent on keeping her in his life for whatever pointless or superficial reasons, then there are probably lots of chicks out there he could be with who will put up with it...and on the flip side, there are lots of guys out there i could click with who share the same view as me re: this type of situation. in other words, we could cut our losses and be bummed for a couple weeks and move on. at least i would. but like i said...i'm gonna give it a shot because i like him and this is new territory for me i'd like to see if i can work through it or if my suspicions will be confirmed.
i don't get jealous over dumb like some little skanks in a club looking at my guy or things like that. i generally have a strong confidence about myself and i carry myself well, and i expect my man to pretty much handle like that without even me having to know about it...he should represent me and i shouldn't doubt him for a second to do so. but i dunno...something about being tight with a dramatic ex gf just rubs me the wrong way.
we'll see. i'll keep u posted of course! lol :D |
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| Moongoose |
| quote: | Originally posted by Slylee
but i dunno...something about being tight with a dramatic ex gf just rubs me the wrong way.
we'll see. i'll keep u posted of course! lol :D |
Dramatic is ok, that's easy to handle and if worst comes to be, it can even be fun to handle. They are easily broken and reduced to a hysterical broken down shell of a person, and how can doing that to someone that wronged you not be fun. Unless shes one of those bat insane people that pulls out a knife in situations like this. Then your ed and not in a good way.
[/4.45am relationship advice from a high on caffeine cranky person that hasn't slept in the past 48 hours] |
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| Fpcookie |
i think you are overeacting.
if you trust your partner and believe him when he says his ex is nothing to him in a romantic sense, then what have you got to be worried about? if she has feelings for him you just have to trust that he will shut her down if she makes some move or whatever.
i dont see why they should end a good friendship that they believe is a good thing because of your insecurities. from what i have gathered he has given no indication of anything for you to be worried about?? seems that its all coming from you.
in terms of being friends with ex partners, its totally situationally dependant. i dont think theres always black and white. some bitches you want nothing to do with ever again, some are chill so it can be better to continue with a friendship. |
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