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BF/GFs who are friends with their exes (pg. 7)
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| Spacey Orange |
| quote: | Originally posted by Slylee
have u had to deal with it? i am now.
i'm trying to work through it but i'm just generally a possesive/jealous type of girlfriend..HOWEVER, before you start attacking me, let me just tell you that you will never see me make a scene or act ridiculous or even act on my jealous feelings alone. that is because i realize it's my own insecurity and it's just something i have to deal with. i keep it under wraps because i know if you make a scene about jealousy, you might as well stamp "INSECURE" on your forehead and that's not something i want to do.
i told my guy it bothered me and that i would try to work through it. we had a nice calm talk about it, i wasn't like "WTF! BLA BLA BLA HER!"
i usually make a joke out of my jealousy. it's like bringing comic relief helps me deal with it and laugh at myself. i'll say something like, "yea fine we can have dinner but don't make me have to choke a bitch".
cor version:
would any of you who are still friendly with your ex have that talk with your new bf/gf and tell them u are friends with them and that you'd like them to meet or you'd like it to be cool if you all hung out? how would u deal with it if they did that to you? |
lol. that's one of the oldest tricks in the book. you don't think he going to her or fall in love with her again?
man, if all women were like you, many a guy would be face deep in gina all the time. |
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| Ian |
| i'm quite close to my longest ex. We talk most days & are good mates now, but it took a long time for us to be able to do so. We split up 6 years ago and barely spoke for 4 of those. It takes both sides to be able to do it and that then depends on what type of person you are. |
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| narcism |
I think i would accept it more if they were friends before they hooked up.. but i do hate it when they remain friends with their ex's
:sadgreen: |
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| kr00t0n |
It can make things a bit weird.
Especially if they had a long and intense relationship, and there you are trying to make a new one, and they have all that history, in jokes, stories and memories, know little things about eachother that you haven't learnt yet.
Plus there is often this weird tinge of guilt that hangs over your head, even if they have broken up ages ago. |
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| Moongoose |
| One of my closest friends and his girlfriend of 5 years have split up a couple of months ago. At first they went tog great lengths to not bother each other, but now they spend as much time together as before they split up, and with the obvious exception of having sex, also do everything else together as if they never split up it the first place. I know that one can stay friends with his exes but my friend still sometimes stays over her place and has dinner and7or sunday lunch with her entire family. How this works i have no idea, but hey, as long as they are fine with it so am i. |
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| kr00t0n |
| quote: | Originally posted by Moongoose
One of my closest friends and his girlfriend of 5 years have split up a couple of months ago. At first they went tog great lengths to not bother each other, but now they spend as much time together as before they split up, and with the obvious exception of having sex, also do everything else together as if they never split up it the first place. I know that one can stay friends with his exes but my friend still sometimes stays over her place and has dinner and7or sunday lunch with her entire family. How this works i have no idea, but hey, as long as they are fine with it so am i. |
Yeah, I have a friend like that.
She was with a guy for 4 years, then broke it off, but still sees him and his family all the time because they are so close.
I would be lying if I said I didn't find it a bit odd... but everyone's different. |
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| Sunsnail |
| I definitely don't care |
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| XaNaX |
| quote: | Originally posted by Moongoose
One of my closest friends and his girlfriend of 5 years have split up a couple of months ago. At first they went tog great lengths to not bother each other, but now they spend as much time together as before they split up, and with the obvious exception of having sex, also do everything else together as if they never split up it the first place. I know that one can stay friends with his exes but my friend still sometimes stays over her place and has dinner and7or sunday lunch with her entire family. How this works i have no idea, but hey, as long as they are fine with it so am i. |
so he basically has a girlfriend except he gets no sex from her. that is completely made of fail |
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| narcism |
| quote: | Originally posted by kr00t0n
I would be lying if I said I didn't find it a bit odd... |
+1 thats so weird |
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| The17sss |
| quote: | Originally posted by XaNaX
so he basically has a girlfriend except he gets no sex from her. that is completely made of fail |
HAHAHA!!! +1
He's gotta be lying about not having sex with her.... if it's true then he lost his gonads a long time ago |
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| Vlad |
| quote: | Originally posted by XaNaX
so he basically has a girlfriend except he gets no sex from her. that is completely made of fail |
Thats gotta be a lie, Im sure they ... people have needs. |
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| david.michael |
One of two things will happen here.
Either:
1. You will get to a point where you are truly forced to deal with it, and you (or he) will work it out in favor of the other person in the relationship.
or
2. It will stew as you continue to deny, deny, deny that there is a problem, and it will eat away at your relationship until it DOES become a big problem.
Imagine my situation: I'm currently married (legally), and I live with my now-girlfriend (I am in the process of dissolution). Her and I have been together for a year. She has a 15-month-old daughter, whom I have been around since she was 3 months old. They split up before the daughter was born (maybe even before she knew she was pregnant...not sure.) Her father is a decent guy and is still in the picture for the daughter's sake. So, I HAVE to deal with my ex and she HAS to deal with hers... there's no real way around it. We are forced to go with number one, and so far it has worked out very well. There's still an occasional (very minor) hiccup, but, we are both very open and honest with each other. You should be too (and it sounds like you have been.) |
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