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Long distance relationships (pg. 10)
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| B_man |
| quote: | Originally posted by Halcyon+On+On
Humans do not transcend the Animal kingdom. Not one bit. And this is nothing to be ashamed of. |
To each his own. We have flesh and bone as they do, so everything else is philosophical metaphysics.
| quote: | Originally posted by Halcyon+On+On
I understand where you are coming from B_man, in that there is grace in controlling your urges. Perhaps when you've had sex and began to mature as an animal you will begin to understand that there is greater grace still in controlling your lust yet indulging in its every whim - it is only a matter of understanding what you want and how you want it better. Perhaps you shall never know this however, and your very choices have lead you to a destiny with one woman you hardly know. |
Well, it sounds like you've just about got it all figured out.
| quote: | Originally posted by Halcyon+On+On
Come back to this thread in December sometime. |
I'll be around. I'll be busier after this January, but I enjoy a few stops here and there. I've got a few tracks that I wish I had time to finish -- maybe I will.
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| quote: | Originally posted by Lira
Would it be any different if it were also a noun?
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Depends on which point of view you are coming from.
In most English speaking countries, there is a catch all word called LOVE. It comprises multiple meanings:
"We made love last night..."
"I love Jenny..."
"I love my family..."
"I love volunteer service..."
"I love my son."
We see that it is easy to confuse the meaning of love when the word is applied in so many areas. The Greeks had it right when they had multiple words that other languages of compacted into a couple or less. The Greeks have these words:
Eros (ἔρως érōs)
Agapē (ἀγάπη agápē)
Thelema (θέλημα thélēma)
Storge (στοργή storgē)
Philia (φιλία philía)
Eros is often too much eluded to (It is passion). Grammatically, it is a fallacy to say that love should not be a noun, but in practice there is the need to differentiate motives behind the 'warm and fuzzies'.
English has the same problem with the word "know", but that's another bedtime story altogether. |
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| RJT |
| quote: | Originally posted by Halcyon+On+On
Humans do not transcend the Animal kingdom. Not one bit. And this is nothing to be ashamed of.
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I love you. |
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| Halcyon+On+On |
Not to each his own. You are an animal seemingly in denial of his own tendencies; willfully foregoing the point of your being which, so far as practicality is concerned, places you somewhere between awkward and useless.
You're saving your purity for ideals which supposedly "transcend" your condition as a physical being... I wonder if you will ever come to fully realize that nobody has any purity to begin with.
At least Sarah Palin would be proud of your sanctimonious endeavors. In fact, her family could probably learn something from you. :stongue: |
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| RJT |
| You make me feel like an animal. |
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| Palladium |
| if you love someone, let her go, if she comes back she loves you back, if not, you are a loser for wait for her |
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| gehzumteufel |
| quote: | Originally posted by Halcyon+On+On
Not to each his own. You are an animal seemingly in denial of his own tendencies; willfully foregoing the point of your being which, so far as practicality is concerned, places you somewhere between awkward and useless.
You're saving your purity for ideals which supposedly "transcend" your condition as a physical being... I wonder if you will ever come to fully realize that nobody has any purity to begin with.
At least Sarah Palin would be proud of your sanctimonious endeavors. In fact, her family could probably learn something from you. :stongue: |
why were you gone!
B_man: are you religious? |
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| klingklang77 |
As someone said before, there has to be an end in sight with a plan.
I did long distance and I hated it. It was really difficult and it was sad, but there was an end in sight. I think total we spent about a year apart in the 2 1/2 years we dated before we got married. It was such a distance NY from Australia, so the time zones made it more difficult to even talk. I think you have the same time zone difference, Brazil to Japan.
Honestly I can't remember how I did it, but I did it. If you can survive a long distance relationship, your relationship will be even stronger.
Good luck to you! |
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| B_man |
| quote: | Originally posted by Halcyon+On+On
Not to each his own. You are an animal seemingly in denial of his own tendencies; willfully foregoing the point of your being which, so far as practicality is concerned, places you somewhere between awkward and useless.
You're saving your purity for ideals which supposedly "transcend" your condition as a physical being... I wonder if you will ever come to fully realize that nobody has any purity to begin with.
At least Sarah Palin would be proud of your sanctimonious endeavors. In fact, her family could probably learn something from you. :stongue: |
I appreciate your enthusiasm to uplift my uniqueness, but it is not a uniqueness that I wear as a badge of honor, it is simply something I happily chose to do on a personal level. It is my choice just as much as it is my choice to not drink. While I do not believe it is wrong to consume alcohol, I truly believe that there are more enjoyable things to do with my time -- and I also hate what alcohol did to certain people that I know or have heard about. I am happy not to drink and I'm happy to be a sexual being within the boundaries aforementioned.
You can believe that we are all animals; more power to you. Animals, however, have can have no concept of this discussion. They do not squabble amongst themselves about the finer points of distance relationships. We are like animals in many respects: Requiring the same forms of sustenance, propagating ourselves from two sexes, having instinctive behaviors, organs that follow a similar line of biological adaption, senses and electrical-chemical motor functions. If that is your guidelines to how behavior is organized, we'll happily agree to disagree. We both have better things to do with our time, so let's shake on it and listen to/compose music instead.
I never said that anybody has purity. You've got it... no one is pure by the highest defining values testing it! I'm no saint by any definition of the word. I may be a virgin, but I have lustful tendencies as anyone else that has always been a work in progress. No one is perfect and I do not claim to be better than you. In fact, there were times when I masturbated more at the same time that I was objectifying women, or having more lustful eye. That is not a coincidence, it is a sense of maleness that a man has the power to control.
Sarah Palin is a politician. I have no aspirations to please any one of them. I am a skeptic of anyone who claims to be the cure-all to society.
I have no desire to "transcend" my physical existence or attain some unique astral projection. Let me ask you a question for argument's sake: do you know anyone who claimed to 'love' someone and everything between the couple looked like a bonfire and then it quickly dissipated into a wretched breakup sometime later (he loves her, but that's what he said about the last one)? Granted some are more responsible for others, but what happened to this 'love'? Granted, there are viable reasons that one person would be unfaithful to another, and cause the relationship to disintegrate, but what do we typically see in that motivating factor by the offending party? We cannot expect our partner to do something that we would not do for them ourselves. To someone's mind, this is a shackle; to another, it is a tranquil understanding.
You see, there is nothing more unstable than emotions. They are what we live by, but society would cease to function is emotions were elevated above the mind. Emotions are best 'idealized' as the caboose of the train car.
Being responsible is the best we can do, and there are no guarantees after that. When it comes to sex, sex is the ultimate bond between two people. I would feel hurt if my wife cheated on me, and she would feel the same in the opposite respect; rightly so. Take purity to the ultimate degree, and you have yourself an unattainable work-in-progress that is one of those tasks that falls in the category of "Anything that is worth doing is worth doing well".
What you have to say is reasonable statement by today's standards. However, I come at that from a different perspective. I read that as being 'what do I get out of this relationship'? If I love my girl because in her eyes I can do nothing wrong, are we not building this relationship off the shaky ground of emotions? Emotions are a great spark, but they must be evaluated. A couple must have an agreement, a covenant, if you will. They must be realistic and forthcoming and approach marriage as the most important decision of their lives.
The girl must probably think the same thing, right? What does she get out of the relationship. There has to be something deeper to love than a business contract -- a continual cycle of supply and demand over an exchange of chemicals.
There is nothing wrong with idealism, and in some cases, you'll agree. Idealism is quite resilient. It can rescue love from the fire of emotions, prosper science, provide aid to the fellow man, kill soldiers, reflect life back in the realm of art, and live beyond a number of generations. It is one of the many things that transcends human beings from the animal kingdom. Nothing is as arcane and yet possessing so much concrete yields. Now that I've stepped out of the seventh circle of abstractness...
I do not consider myself awkward nor useless, and I know for a fact that you are not either. Every human life networks with others and creates a unique tapestry that causes this little green speck globe to glimmer. I do not have to be 'sexually' free by some standards to do anything with my life that is deemed important by another. Life is so much more than sex, that this realization in itself is quite liberating and makes life out to be an adventurous journey than a do-and-die pleasure factory.
That's my life... and I see that since I've turned myself into a spectacle that I'll respectfully thank you for your time and wish all of you the best of luck in your endeavors. |
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| Halcyon+On+On |
I trust this means you're done responding? Whew, that's a relief.
You are all speculation.
And you have put the on a pedestal. :stongue:
It seems to me that the most fatal flaw in your... ehh... argument... is that you have automatically assumed that the importance of sex to the individual is only as transcendental so far as the eternal bond that two people share in an ultimate sense, etc~ When really, it's about you. Well, not about you, obviously, but the proverbial you. Perhaps it is selfish. Maybe a bit crass, too. Perhaps it is counter to all senses of quasi-harlequin amorousness that post-Christian values have taught us as magnanimity in place of competence through television. But self-servitude is one of the most available truths there is. And until you have experienced the ugly ins and outs of people, I don't think you are qualified to argue that selfishness is a limitation.
You speak of responsibility and loyalty like you have ever had this betrayed or even established in the first place.
You speak of sex being an "ultimate bond" but you are obviously not positioned to comment on how it feels to have this supposed bond severed.
You speak of control as though you have ever lost it.
You speak of maleness as if you've ever used it.
And most fretfully of all, you speak of women as though mere agreement is as simple as being agreeable. You obviously are not aware of the depths or fluctuations of emotion if you think that your idealism has any bearing upon the world outside of your secret little Sapphic garden. |
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| Lira |
| quote: | Originally posted by Halcyon+On+On
Don't expect other girls to not notice you for one moment, I am sure that half of your friends have their eyes on you now that this other girl is out of the picture. And you can afford to be discerning amongst them, I'm sure. |
Hell, weren't you right about that! :eek:
Anyway, I bumped this thread just to disappoint Mario... So far, nothing happened :D |
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| Ang ' ela_ie |
| quote: | Originally posted by Lira
Any other tips? |
Phone sex and webcam, if it hasn't already been suggested. |
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| Cloud |
Great thread. I am gonna break up with my gf for this reason. I have to leave my city Ioannina because of my studies. I am gonna move in Thessaloniki which is like 3-4 hours away.
We have been together for 7 months and if everything goes well we will be together 10 months before I leave our city. I love her and she does the same. If she studies hard she might move in Thessaloniki too for her studies, but only after 1.5 year of studying. That means I have to wait her for 1.5 years. :(
I told her that I can be with her all this time but she thinks that i will cheat on her because I am 18 y.o. and i need SEX! We have never done sex because she is too young to lose her virginity. I don't really care for sex to be honest. I love her and that's all that matters for me. She alsos says that she needs someone to be with her when she has troubles etc and I am not gonna be that person because I will be far.
damn.. :( |
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