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Long distance relationships (pg. 8)
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| UmmiE |
| quote: | Originally posted by squirrelly
ENGAGED and not getting laid?! Blasphemy. |
LOL
Married and No sex :sadgreen: |
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| elFreak |
| quote: | Originally posted by UmmiE
LOL
Married and No sex :sadgreen: |
that is more normal than you think...don't need distance for that:p |
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| UmmiE |
| quote: | Originally posted by elFreak
that is more normal than you think...don't need distance for that:p |
Not really worried at all.....Thanks to Palm Ela. |
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| UWM |
| quote: | Originally posted by elFreak
that is more normal than you think...don't need distance for that:p |
Damn beat me to it. |
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| squirrelly |
| quote: | Originally posted by elFreak
if sex is the basis of your relationship than yes.
if you think sex is the most important thing, then you are probably not ready for one;). |
Not the basis, but it's damn amazing. Hence why we have it so often :D |
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| tortoise |
| quote: | Originally posted by Lira
Is your loved one away? Are you in a new city, or has your significant other gone to a different state... or country, perhaps? Are you feeling lonely, but you're still reluctant to share your homemade sammich with that hot coworker/classmate that has desperately invited you to Subway for lunch so you could share your deepest sammichical secrets? You're not alone. I'm going to be with you soon.
Tomorrow, at 5 PM in Brazilian time (8PM UTC), my fiancée is flying to Nagoya (JP), and will spend at least 3 years there. I really think it's going to be hard to keep this relationship intact for so long, specially because I probably won't go to live in Nagoya even if I do go to Japan in the near future. So, I decided I'm going to do the following 3 things to cope with the distance:
- Do anything but live like a hermit: I'm friends with far more girls than guys, so if I decide to stick with my girl in spite of this new context of blooming hotness and potential epic wins because I don't think they're worth pursuing... that is a sign that this is indeed what I want;
- Keep in touch. This bit is obvious, I guess;
- Keep working on my goals. The busier the mind, the easier it is for the heart.
Any other tips? Have you ever been in a(n un)successful long distance relationship? What was it like?
edit: Ambiguous expression was ambiguous. |
it’s a rough road. my girl and i have been apart for about 2.5 years. we have stages where our (Phone) relationship is really good and really bad. we love each other and wouldn’t know what to do if we didn’t have each other even though we just talk on the phone. I see her about 3- 6 times a year for 4- 10 days at a time. All I can suggest is try to keep things interesting (Cards, surprises , phone sex) and understand that your fiancée has a life in Japan.
Hope everything works out :) |
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| Halcyon+On+On |
Most people in sexless relationships are deluding themselves. It's not that sex is necessarily the most important thing to us, it's that sex is an act out of the fruition of relating to a member of the opposite sex in the first place. That is, we need sex just as much as we need a girl or need a boy. It's sort of the point.
Some people under the boot heel of abstinent, self-loathing and shameful culture seem to think that sex is shallow or 1-dimensional; that sex is an animalistic act, a base or crude resort of sticky fingers and unsharpened minds - and those people are only a little bit right. And I doubt this conviction fulfills them so much as the indulgence of their unfocused desires would. Pity them.
Lira, you said it yourself - you are going to have to search a bit for what you want. I'm not saying my views on the matter are the only right ones in the matter or anything - it is possible I suppose that this one girl is the one who makes you happiest in life or something along those lines; That the very thought of her, no matter how far away she is, no matter how far removed from your desolate loins she studies and breathes and lives her own life in foreign lands and thinks about sex with you and that one guy in her class today and that other guy who looked at her in the subway earlier and, for whatever reason, that older man who lives 6 doors down from her... that *this* girl is the only one for you. Then I suppose it would and should be impossible for someone like me to even attempt to change your mind in the matter.
Just hope you don't end up squandering some of the prime years of your sexual being idly waiting for something that may not even exist. |
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| Silky Johnson |
I think about my boyfriend's penis and it makes me horny. Even after 10 years.  |
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| Ian |
| due to university issues and then work visas, my brother & his fiancee sometimes had to go 3-5 months apart between visits. Even now they work a city apart but see each other every weekend & couldn't be happier, and are buying their first home together soon too. |
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| B_man |
| quote: | Originally posted by Halcyon+On+On
Most people in sexless relationships are deluding themselves. It's not that sex is necessarily the most important thing to us, it's that sex is an act out of the fruition of relating to a member of the opposite sex in the first place. That is, we need sex just as much as we need a girl or need a boy. It's sort of the point.
Some people under the boot heel of abstinent, self-loathing and shameful culture seem to think that sex is shallow or 1-dimensional; that sex is an animalistic act, a base or crude resort of sticky fingers and unsharpened minds - and those people are only a little bit right. And I doubt this conviction fulfills them so much as the indulgence of their unfocused desires would. Pity them.
Lira, you said it yourself - you are going to have to search a bit for what you want. I'm not saying my views on the matter are the only right ones in the matter or anything - it is possible I suppose that this one girl is the one who makes you happiest in life or something along those lines; That the very thought of her, no matter how far away she is, no matter how far removed from your desolate loins she studies and breathes and lives her own life in foreign lands and thinks about sex with you and that one guy in her class today and that other guy who looked at her in the subway earlier and, for whatever reason, that older man who lives 6 doors down from her... that *this* girl is the only one for you. Then I suppose it would and should be impossible for someone like me to even attempt to change your mind in the matter.
Just hope you don't end up squandering some of the prime years of your sexual being idly waiting for something that may not even exist. |
I think you speak mostly off of emotions than having a fundamental understanding of human nature. Sure, human beings are sexual beings, as a creature that both coincides and transcends the animal kingdom, we have the ability to propagate. However, I personally think that most of us have a deluded sense of worth when it comes to our sexual practices (I use to think the same way).
Hey, I'm 22, and I'm a virgin. I'd be relatively anxious, but I'm getting married November 8th of this year. She and I share the same beliefs, lifestyle and have been through various stages in our relationship the past 1.8 years; good and bad. However, I'm not impoverished of heart, and actually feel quite confident. I may manually blow the circuit boards, but I don't even watch porn -- why should I feed lusts that do not involve a person who needs my commitment, even when I do not feel like it (Love is a verb, and ultimately transcends physical realms). Besides, most women (at least the women who I see myself being with) who value their relationships prefer a man who keeps his lusts under control, private or public.
We've done the long-distance gig, and it wouldn't have been so hard if we both were not so busy. We were both schooling (I still will continue this Spring), and she was working part-time and I was working full-time. Today, I only live 30 minutes away since I moved closer to my college and work. However, before this week, we use to live 1.5 hours away from each other. During my online schooling days, I would only see here an average of twice a month (before gas got too expensive). I lost much of my health during this time, and was getting sickly, sleep-deprived, anemic, and the beds of my nails were white instead of pink (Just too much work to also stay up with the Books until 2am or more). That will be me again, once the Spring semester is underway.
In any relationship, sex is more of a barometer of the relationship other than a required sustenance. It's the most valued by-product of a marriage that is driven by selfless willingness to meet the needs of the partner. Most sexless marriages are the result of selfishness embedding itself in one of both the partners. A woman, being a deeply emotional creature, is more prone to be turned off by a husband who simply will no longer work at his marriage and lets the days pass with no willingness to go above and beyond the call of duty. On the same token, a husband cannot please a woman who is unwilling to work through the differences between the sexes, even if there is sincerity. DON'T get me wrong -- there are sometimes physiological barriers in one partner or another, but much of science today can transcend these barriers or help alleviate altogether.
There is no such thing as sexual Nirvana. Talking to one too many singles who are promiscuous and married couples will provide enough testimony to the fact that human beings require BOTH a commitment and a bed of enjoyment. At first glance, it may seem that this is a lost battle; an impossibility or just plain foolishness -- you ultimately have to ask yourself the right questions to arrive at moral and emotional equilibrium. It's one of the many gigs that sets us apart or makes us unique from the animal kingdom.
Nov. 8: That means that there's only 35 days until I can burn my virginity with the woman I love. I believe I love her, even though I haven't "test driven" her. We are both simple people with simple needs driven by a complicated mind. Otherwise, I'd keep my virginity for the my future beloved in no uncertain terms. I am contented to put sex in its place -- to control it for my desires instead of letting it control me. Hunger may control me, thirst, and the need for clothing and shelter... but sex is not to be cheapened to the level that society touts it off to be, in my humble opinion.
I do not loath myself, nor do I have an weird sense of shame. I enjoy life and at the same time look forward to my marriage. That's just me, and maybe if I share my point of view, it might enlighten another or raise other questions. I consider myself that few examples of proof that long distance relationships have the possibility of delivering fruitful results. |
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| Silky Johnson |
| Aw, nice post. |
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| Sunsnail |
| quote: | Originally posted by B_man
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how often do you masturbate? |
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