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Long distance relationships (pg. 9)
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| UmmiE |
| quote: | Originally posted by Sunsnail
how often do you have fun in life? |
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| B_man |
| quote: | Originally posted by Sunsnail
how often do you masturbate? |
It varies from 48-72 hours a time; sometimes more sometimes less. The longest I've gone is a couple months. It promotes health in some regards and reduces the chances of prostate cancer. However, I'll be reducing this to none in order to become more "in tune" with my future-wife's touch instead of my own. I've read enough about sex to realize that married sex requires a great deal of time in comparison to an ejection. It's about self discipline that creates good dividends. |
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| UmmiE |
| quote: | Originally posted by B_man
It varies from 48-72 hours a time; sometimes more sometimes less. The longest I've gone is a couple months. It promotes health in some regards and reduces the chances of prostate cancer. However, I'll be reducing this to none in order to become more "in tune" with my future-wife's touch instead of my own. |
Ok whoever is doing the MTV "Punk'd" with us here right now can come out and tell us the truth.............My head is going to explode plz fast.:mad: |
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| B_man |
???
I wikipedia'd PUnk'd... and it appears to be some sort of candid-camera program. Forgive me... I'm without a TV at the moment. When I did have a TV, I usually watched news, G4, or MythBusters. I not really into TV.
[edit]
Is it really that hard to believe? I'll confess that I am more of a "traditionalist"... but there's plenty like me. More confining value-systems are becoming a thing of the past... and I just hopped on my soap-box because I think that some people would be happier with more restraint. Whether you want to tack on religious or quasi-ethical values on your actions is up to you alone, but I primarily wanted to give hope to people who are in long-distance relationships with people who they love. IT CAN BE DONE. And me, being as sickly as I was, and busier than a beehive can attest to it.
Sex isn't the essence of love... it is a form of pleasure; and improves the quality of life -- but who has total control over their quality of life? That isn't fatalism or Stoicism, it's just reality. How you deal with reality is your own business.
If you truly love someone... you will go out of your way to deny yourself for their welfare. If that means being faithful to them until distance can be resolved... then there is a shadow of true love. |
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| UmmiE |
| someone plz shoot me now............:sadgreen: |
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| Halcyon+On+On |
Humans do not transcend the Animal kingdom. Not one bit. And this is nothing to be ashamed of.
I understand where you are coming from B_man, in that there is grace in controlling your urges. Perhaps when you've had sex and began to mature as an animal you will begin to understand that there is greater grace still in controlling your lust yet indulging in its every whim - it is only a matter of understanding what you want and how you want it better. Perhaps you shall never know this however, and your very choices have lead you to a destiny with one woman you hardly know.
Come back to this thread in December sometime. |
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| elFreak |
what would you do if you found out you had waited for marriage to have sex, only to marry a girl who's vagina did not work.
loljesusisntreal. |
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| gehzumteufel |
| lol inexperience. |
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| josh rising |
| do you guys consider about an hour "long distance"? if so... yeah. |
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| Lira |
| quote: | Originally posted by tortoise
it’s a rough road. my girl and i have been apart for about 2.5 years. we have stages where our (Phone) relationship is really good and really bad. we love each other and wouldn’t know what to do if we didn’t have each other even though we just talk on the phone. I see her about 3- 6 times a year for 4- 10 days at a time. All I can suggest is try to keep things interesting (Cards, surprises , phone sex) and understand that your fiancée has a life in Japan.
Hope everything works out :) |
Wow, that's quite a long time! So far, I think we won't be able to see each other more than 2 times a year, but who knows? :)
| quote: | Originally posted by Halcyon+On+On
Most people in sexless relationships are deluding themselves. It's not that sex is necessarily the most important thing to us, it's that sex is an act out of the fruition of relating to a member of the opposite sex in the first place. That is, we need sex just as much as we need a girl or need a boy. It's sort of the point.
Some people under the boot heel of abstinent, self-loathing and shameful culture seem to think that sex is shallow or 1-dimensional; that sex is an animalistic act, a base or crude resort of sticky fingers and unsharpened minds - and those people are only a little bit right. And I doubt this conviction fulfills them so much as the indulgence of their unfocused desires would. Pity them.
Lira, you said it yourself - you are going to have to search a bit for what you want. I'm not saying my views on the matter are the only right ones in the matter or anything - it is possible I suppose that this one girl is the one who makes you happiest in life or something along those lines; That the very thought of her, no matter how far away she is, no matter how far removed from your desolate loins she studies and breathes and lives her own life in foreign lands and thinks about sex with you and that one guy in her class today and that other guy who looked at her in the subway earlier and, for whatever reason, that older man who lives 6 doors down from her... that *this* girl is the only one for you. Then I suppose it would and should be impossible for someone like me to even attempt to change your mind in the matter.
Just hope you don't end up squandering some of the prime years of your sexual being idly waiting for something that may not even exist. |
Interesting post, Hal. I think it would be fair to give my two cents about this matter as well, since I'm in this situation :D
If I believed life had a purpose, sex would probably be central to it. I'm not entirely convinced that meaning needs a society but, given the social twists of the human condition, I'd even dare to say that it is so because sex is the most fundamental social activity there is . It's not that difficult to figure out why I've come to such an extreme view, as (1) a society needs a way to perpetuate its own existence, and (2) it's not something that can be done individually, as you've got to have a partner. But, it can be something done between individuals of different societies, which only comes to show how sex is indeed far more powerful than puny human idealism.
That's why I think sex is awesome (in the literal sense of the word). I can't think of any other multidimensional human activity that involves so much power. Physically, it's not just the result of some pleasant friction in our pee-pee holes - it can create human life (much to the aversion of some of the parties involved :D). Between two individuals, it can create a bond that far exceeds any other kind of human interaction (and can easily go astray if the "will to mate" is not reciprocal :p). Personally, it's a way of building confidence in the moment you're the most vulnerable.
My point? Sex is not a trivial matter. It's so complex an act that it can have direct consequences on who we are, on how we perceive both ourselves and those around us, and on what our next generation will be like. Personally, I think that's quite a lot, and it should therefore be in accordance with what we want for ourselves. I want to do this simply because that's what I want for my life.
So, I don't think you're wrong. At all. If, in 10 years time, I realised I could be having the best sex of my life right now, while I write this post and reply to an e-mail of hers, I could regret it all. Hell, a cute friend of mine told me a couple of weeks ago we could go out and get hammered if my then girlfriend broke up - I could simply break up with my girlfriend and give her the most intense drunken monkey smashing sessions of her life. But, if I decided to do this, I could regret it just as much in the future, for different reasons. Thus, I don't think it would be intelligent to act according to how I could feel in a few years.
I will, therefore, just keep listening to Clint Mansell and get back to my very own addiction. Namely, my goals.
| quote: | Originally posted by B_man
(Love is a verb, and ultimately transcends physical realms). |
Would it be any different if it were also a noun?
And, more seriously, I fail to see how it could transcend any physical realm: there's nothing in our perception or cognition that isn't physical given the fact that we're hopelessly attached to our bodies, and I can both feel love and think about it. |
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| gehzumteufel |
| quote: | Originally posted by josh rising
do you guys consider about an hour "long distance"? if so... yeah. |
Is the "about" more or less than 1hr? If it is less, then no, but if it is more, then it is that "short-long" that Myra mentioned. |
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| Halcyon+On+On |
Fantastic post, Lira. Wish you'd just said all of that in the beginning so I could have just said "good luck" and had no further involvement with this thread. :P
But seriously, if your plans are to gorge yourself in objectivity between the moments you meet with her... and rightfully her stupid when you do get to see one another... I can't say you don't have your priorities in line. My point was never to make you question 'what could be' though because I really don't believe that's any way to live your life. My only point was that sex is important, far more important than seemingly postmodern society criminalizes it for being, and that people who engage in long distance relationships, or insist on maintaining them, seem to go through some sort of 'well, this will be a good test for our relationship' phase... and I needn't even mention that this almost always ends up being an utter waste of time for all parties involved. |
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