| couch-potato |
I was a senior in high school. Was partying up north at UCSB (University of Santa Barbara) with my best friend.
It is late, perhaps 2 - 3 am. My friend and I are tired from college dorm parties... however, our morale is weak. Neither of us have hooked up with any girls that night. Us, being high school students, over a 100 miles away from home, utterly surrounded by drunken, moist college - are NOT ready to give up the fight yet. The night cannot end without female interaction, otherwise we are doomed to masturbate with our tears.
I spot a busty blonde walking down the street, a solid '7' on the hotness scale. I am drunk, tired, away from home, with nothing to lose. I muster up every ounce of courage within my soul, and simply ask:
'You wanna ?'
SHE SAYS SURE! I clutch her by the waist with a death grip, fueled by adrenaline, and lead her back to my best friend's brother's college dorm (as he was attending UCSB and had invited us to party with him).
In a spout of victory I bust the door open, and drag her plastered ass up the stairs into the bedroom. She hops unto the bed, and as I turn around to shut the door, I see my best friend entering the room.
He's taking his pants off. So what did my drunk ass say in response?
'SWEET! MY FIRST GANG BANG!!!'
So my friend and I make a sex-kabob out of Hailee, the college whore. I got the front, friend took the rear. I liked the front, as I got to flap her giant around like they were cushion toys, and with her scratching and grabbing my chest I was having a pretty damn good time. He finishes first, and walks out of the room. As he opens the door, another man stumbles in.
'HAILEE!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THESE MEN!? OH MY GOD!'
I'm speechless, and Hailee tells me that the dude was her best friend, who was following us the entire time, apparently. He happened to be gay. So her gay best friend decides to sit on the other bed and simply watch me skull Hailee against the bedpost. He's just watching me the entire time. Anyways, he keep going on and on about my cute hair. Anyways, I suppose I was ing for too long because one of the dorm mates is pounding on the door, shouting:
'YOU ING SLOW-CUMMING BASTARD! I HAVE TO BE AT WORK AT 6:00! HURRY THE UP AND GET OUT OF MY ROOM! AND WHERE THE IS THAT QUEER! YOU GET THE OUT OF MY HOUSE YOU ING HOMO!'
So, after telling the gay guy to stop trying to play with my ass for the tenth time, I finally bust my load into Hailee's mouth. We walk out, with everyone in the dorm shouting,
'WALK OF SHAME! WALK OF SHAME!'
What was Hailee's response? Why, what any other college whore would say,
'It's just sex!'
As they walk out, my best friend is throwing pennies at Hailee, shouting,
'THANKS FOR THE GOOD TIME!!!'
I woke up the next morning with Lawry's seasoning salt on my head, and a pissed off dorm mate demanding quarters so he could wash his bedsheets. I had no change, and felt bad about the stains on his pillow cover (I didn't know about them until that morning) so I bought him a good breakfast.
High school was cool. |
|
|
