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The Official TOTA Multicultural Dating Thread (pg. 20)
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| EvilTree |
| quote: | Originally posted by afterhrsgurl
i just read the first 10pgs of this thread and :wtf: |
that bored at work, eh |
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| UmmiE |
| quote: | Originally posted by afterhrsgurl
i just read the first 10pgs of this thread and :wtf: |
COR version ?????? |
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| FunkyCrew |
| quote: | Originally posted by yankeeBaby
agreed. My man is puerto rican, and I thought my rents would hate them (based on the YEARS of "YOU BETTER MARRY A WHITE GUY!!!"
The Albanian guy from toronto that I dated for a couple years was the WORST. They never gave him a chance...... but HIS famliy straight up HATED me. Wow. I got screaming angry phone calls and everything. Of course, his younger-generation cousins and brothers and such were awesome (and I still see them when I come to toronto), but the older family, I swear put a bounty on my head!!
That was a doomed relationship from the start, but of course, we liked each other so we dealt with is for as long as we could.
^^I guess being so liberal I dont really understand all the hate. I get that people want similar characteristics/values/etc for their grandchildren, etc, but the HATE and anger can be overwhelming!! |
wow that reminds me:
my very close friend from back in Cyprus, started dating a guy, I believe half English half Cypriot
his Mom and his sister were absolute PSYCHOS! so bad! they hated my friend (Marianna) from the start
anyway, the guy ended up with weird psychological problems about the fact that Marianna used to date this guy he knows (before she even met him), and he told his Mom and sis about it (why?! beats me!)
so they somehow came to a conclusion that she's a slut!
at one point Marianna was staying over at his place, and they all ended up having a huge row, so both marianna and him just left the house, and stayed over at her friend for the night
the next day when Marianna went to pick her stuff up, it was absolutely destroyed! her jewelery was ripped or broken, cd's and dvd's were scratched, clothes was covered in ketchup and mayo.. i think in total it was over 500 British pounds worth of stuff, and it was his sis who did it! Marianna ended up reporting her to the police but nothing ever got done
and his mom send her a check for 20 pounds as compensation
poor girl couldn't get head straight after that for good few months |
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| zoogla |
| quote: | Originally posted by Jem_hadar
Well, me personally, I feel as such: What right do your parents have to try to influence things in your romantic life so that they have similar characteristics/values/etc in their grandchildren!!?
NOT THEIR PLACE! They have no right. If you ask me, it's pretty selfish of them. IMHO. |
I don't think parents do that (ie. for grandchildren's sake) for themselves, but for their kids!!! My interpretation is that parents want it to be as easy as possible for their kids to bring children into this world and teach them "good" values, not necessarily exactly the way they raised their own kids, but just to keep it SIMPLE for their kids and not have to deal with the complexities of merging 2 cultures into one.
So I think of it as parents not being selfish, but giving that advice with the intention of helping their kids (for eventual simplicity when their kids raise their own kids).
I have an uncle (Paki) who married a Scandinavian woman and although initially there was nothing but love (so my parents told me), when they had kids that were old enough to want their own relationships and developed their own perspectives on life, their mother guided them one way while the father was trying to be more conservative. The kids totally went the opposite way and the father had 2 heart attacks. He's a very understanding guy, though, so eventually came around and supported the relationships (both kids married non-Pakistanis-son and daughter) and everyone's happy, but I guess the kids will be okay in this situation because they were raised with different values from their father so it will be easier to adapt to the multicultural situation.
However, if my uncle wanted it easier, he should have listened to his parents and family/friends who tried to convince him to stick with his own. |
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| thesauce23 |
| quote: | Originally posted by fayraree
to stick with his own. |
gayest thing ever |
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| Jem_hadar |
| quote: | Originally posted by FunkyCrew
so they somehow came to a conclusion that she's a slut!
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:haha: :haha: :haha:
thats a ing joke. wow. :rolleyes:
| quote: | Originally posted by fayraree
I don't think parents do that (ie. for grandchildren's sake) for themselves, but for their kids!!! My interpretation is that parents want it to be as easy as possible for their kids to bring children into this world and teach them "good" values, not necessarily exactly the way they raised their own kids, but just to keep it SIMPLE for their kids and not have to deal with the complexities of merging 2 cultures into one.
So I think of it as parents not being selfish, but giving that advice with the intention of helping their kids (for eventual simplicity when their kids raise their own kids).
I have an uncle (Paki) who married a Scandinavian woman and although initially there was nothing but love (so my parents told me), when they had kids that were old enough to want their own relationships and developed their own perspectives on life, their mother guided them one way while the father was trying to be more conservative. The kids totally went the opposite way and the father had 2 heart attacks. He's a very understanding guy, though, so eventually came around and supported the relationships (both kids married non-Pakistanis-son and daughter) and everyone's happy, but I guess the kids will be okay in this situation because they were raised with different values from their father so it will be easier to adapt to the multicultural situation.
However, if my uncle wanted it easier, he should have listened to his parents and family/friends who tried to convince him to stick with his own. |
^^ OK. Fair enough, and I can see that rationale.
But if such is really the case, then how and on what principles can and do these parents JUSTIFY their flat out DISAPPROVAL of these relationships??? Its like its a personal affront on their family's name or the family's or parents' beliefs...
And if it is as you say (which i have no doubt it could often be too... im just not saying all or sometimes even most the time) and such is the case, then I dont see how these parents often come to really dislike the "different" boyfriend or girlfriend, or how they become so against the whole relationship as strongly as they do!
if they were merely trying to look out for the best (future) interests of their son or daughter and/or any children they will one day have, etc. etc., then i can understand mild comments and urgings for their children to pick a different path (ie. choose a significant other of the same backgroudn or religious choice).... alright, i can see their logic and way of thinking in that/this case...
but its not having merely "mild" feelings that parents seem to have towards such unions... often its very strong feelings of dissapproval. and this i simpy do not understand. |
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| afterhrsgurl |
| quote: | Originally posted by UmmiE
COR version ?????? |
discuss your multicultural experiences and you will get burned lol |
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| zoogla |
| quote: | Originally posted by afterhrsgurl
discuss your multicultural experiences and you will get flamed lol |
Corrected ;) |
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| afterhrsgurl |
| quote: | Originally posted by fayraree
Corrected ;) |
haha oops |
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| Jem_hadar |
| quote: | Originally posted by Abercrombie
I ALWAYS enjoy learning about new cultures, and dating is the best way. |
It certainly seems to be (for me anyways) |
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| FunkyCrew |
| quote: | Originally posted by Abercrombie
I'm not sure I can date anyone of my own background. Actually... I never have come to think of it. The world is so diverse, I love it! I ALWAYS enjoy learning about new cultures, and dating is the best way. |
I used to think that I can only date someone who speaks my own language
but then I started making friends with people from other backgrounds and of other nationalities, and things just change :)
I dated: Greek, Cypriot, English, Dutch, German, Romanian, Russian, Moldovian, Latvian, and now a Croat :) |
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