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gay guys who use their sexual preference to their advantage...... (pg. 33)
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| Shamen DJ's |
| quote: | Originally posted by DigiNut
What does this have to do with... anything?
Homosexuality being "illegal" and gays being "hated" is ancient history. . |
Not if alot of people, including some people on this forum had their way.
Seriously, do you think anyone would "choose" a life or discrimination. |
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| Floorwhore |
| quote: | Originally posted by Shamen DJ's
Unfortunately most gay people are ashamed of themselves. Myself, and most gay people I know don't parade around, and take pride in their accomplishments. |
This right here folks - may be the most retarded post in the history of TA. Most gays are ASHAMED of themselves!? So is that implying that most gay guys think their lifestyle is wrong? And yes - they DO parade around with PRIDE - its called GAY PRIDE PARARDE. Happens once a year to the best of my knowledge.
| quote: | Originally posted by Shamen DJ's
I think alot of men that rape women, especially gang rape, do it to prove how "straight" they are. |
Hardly. Rape stems from issues with being in control, not what their sexuality is. |
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| naesean3 |
| quote: | Originally posted by Floorwhore
This right here folks - may be the most retarded post in the history of TA. Most gays are ASHAMED of themselves!? So is that implying that most gay guys think their lifestyle is wrong? And yes - they DO parade around with PRIDE - its called GAY PRIDE PARARDE. Happens once a year to the best of my knowledge.
Hardly. Rape stems from issues with being in control, not what their sexuality is. |
I think he might have meant that - a gay moniker in general is alot harder to wear on your sleeve than a straight moniker.
Straight bravado is encouraged whilst gay bravado is seen as negative.
Many gay people are ashamed of themselves - this is nothing new - only through positve mental attitude and support through friends do many become comfortable with this lifestyle they have been chosen to lead.
Woohoo GAY Pride?? One day a year - big deal - it should be 365 days a year for the individual in the best of circumstances.
And rape has been linked to control or lack thereof within ones own sexual identity and how they use it towards other people. |
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| yankeeBaby |
| quote: | Originally posted by Floorwhore
Hardly. Rape stems from issues with being in control, not what their sexuality is. |
you are both right (ok lets talk to the sex therapist about this one).....men almost always rape for the sense of control, not the physical pleasure. But gay men often rape for the sense on control on their sexuality...(keep in mind that this is not always the case, but subconciously, this is often what is going on). |
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| iLLnaDa |
| quote: | Originally posted by yankeeBaby
Umm why the fak did my post come out 3 times?????:eyes: LOL
btw nada: its snowing and windy out here :( :( booooo |
oh no :(
yep its nice and sunny but u step out and its A F'IN COLD STORAGE X A BILLION f'in hate WINTER !!!!:whip: :whip: :whip: :whip: |
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| MarkT |
there's more at play with Pride than people "flaunting" their sexuality.
Most people I've encountered who even participate in the parade are those who grew up in small towns where coming out meant facing certain discrimination and abuse. You need only travel an hour outside of Toronto to still experience that to this day.
I don't rarely encounter any gay person who is "ashamed" of themselves.
Shame is, by definition AFAIK, occurs as a result of a perception of not conforming to societal norms or from deviating from your own morals, those your family, etc. Shame does not exist independent of one's relation to others.
If you grow up hearing "fag" this and "fag" that and that you are part of a perceived "lesser" group...sure, that can conjure up feelings of shame and alienation. One need only travel an hour or so outside of the city to encounter a very different environment for minorities and to realize that "self-victimization", while it occurs, is NOT the only issue at play here. I think feelings of shame or alientation pass with time and experience once that person is able to put their experiences in the context of the culture of ignorance under which they occured. i.e. they live in a small, intollerent town...they move out and realize that the entire world is not like that small town.
As for being "proud" of being gay...yeah, kind of pointless. Be proud of who you are...but who you are isn't "being gay". I take pride in myself, my accomplishment, in our city/country, in our tolerant, diverse, liberal society that doesn't allow sexual orientation to be a relevant discriminating factor among people, etc. It's not about being "proud" to be something (gay, straight, black, white)...it's about not having to feel ashamed and not feeling marginalized for being so. There's a subtle difference!
Pride in Toronto is (or ought to be) less about individual pride in being gay, though *many* people do go overboard and miss the point...IMHO, it's about celebrating our diversity, as evidenced by how inclusive an event it is here, how many families show up, etc. How many TAs turned out for Jelo and Deko-ze on the Church St. stage? I saw quite a few :) I honestly see it more as taking pride in our community as a whole...that such an event can occur...just as Caribanna can occur...just as people can congregate to publicly celebrate, advocate for, or protest against any given issue without fear of public or state sanctioned reprisal...etc.
meh...this has gotten *way* off topic, lol.
back to dumbasses who pretend to be gay to grope girls. I think the boyfriends of said girls AND actual gay guys both find this behaviour to be inappropriate and lame as hell ;) |
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| naesean3 |
GAY MEN/STRAIGHT WOMEN
From the perspective of gay men, women offer intimate friendship that is generally free from the complications of sexual interest.
Other gay men are potential boyfriends, and that can complicate potential friendship. Straight guys can give mixed signals and turn into objects of unrequited love. Friendships with women can be simpler and free from that tension – at least from the men’s side of the equation.
And while gay men and straight women may not be romantically made for each other, they share a common romantic interest: men. Whether it’s recounting the foibles of dating or sharing erotic advice, there’s a common interest.
For straight women, gay men offer male friendship that’s free from game playing. Women can relax and be themselves with gay men in a way that’s usually not possible with hetero men. That’s especially true for women who may have strong, confident personalities, or who may not fit the conventional paradigm of female beauty. Characteristics that intimidate some straight men may be highly appealing for gay men. |
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| naesean3 |
The different hetero and homo modes of maleness are not, of course, biologically fixed. As social values and expectations of men change, we could witness a greater convergence and blurring of straight and gay masculinity. The kinder, gentler New Man may, eventually, predominate among male heterosexuals. Conversely, as gay men grow in self-esteem and confidence - ceasing to see themselves as passive victims of homophobia and as having failed the test of manliness - some may embrace a more assertive form of male behaviour. This evolution in masculinity might, one day, lead to a greater degree of male communality, where queers are just as combative as straights, and heteros are equally as tender as gays.
Gay men do, indeed, have a lot in common with heterosexual women. Apart from our mutual interest in men we both get shafted by straight male machismo. It is hetero men who victimise women and queers. Their misogyny and homophobia causes us suffering. That gives women and gay men a mutual interest in sticking together and challenging straight male attitudes.
Whether consciously or not, gay men redefine what it means to be a man. We show that maleness need not involve machismo.
we obviously enjoy each others company (gay men/straight women) and some friendships transcend many emotional boundaries - if we can't relate to each other and communicate - something is terribly wrong.
:( |
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| StereoPrincess |
| quote: | Originally posted by 5hiftn6ears
My problem is gay guys ( not all of them, just some of them, and this is not directed to you Sean, so don't get your panties in a bunch) that know who my gf is, know she doesn't like gettin groped, know i'm in the club....but still act they way they do knowing they always have the out by saying "..don't worry I'm gay.."...."..I'm just having fun.."..."..I live a free lifestyle.."......It's morally and ethically wrong!
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i really don't know how you can make this more clear to anyone Steve.
Seriously, is the world totally insane that they can't understand this situation? I must be living in la la land if this makes total sense to me. Is there anyone out there that believes this kind of behaviour is wrong?
Sean, this doesn't happen once. It happens every damn weekend. This happens to me, this happens to girls that don't have boyfriends.
And again, it's not you! You tried dancing like that with me, I think I made it pretty clear I didn't like it and we stopped. End of story. I will pinch or slap a butt but that is the extent of how far I will go. Dancing to me is pretty much a form of sexual act with your clothes on so I don't like anyone, even if they are gay, grinding up against me or an other forms of seductive "moves". |
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| EvilTree |
| I do dislike to say this, but this thread, while informative, seemed to have lost its steam. Seems to be a lot of same points repeated over and over. |
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| Shamen DJ's |
| quote: | Originally posted by yankeeBaby
you are both right (ok lets talk to the sex therapist about this one).....men almost always rape for the sense of control, not the physical pleasure. But gay men often rape for the sense on control on their sexuality...(keep in mind that this is not always the case, but subconciously, this is often what is going on). |
I do agree, but I think an equal % or more "straight" ( I don't like that word because it implies that gay / bi people are "crooked" ) men are responsible for rape, especially since I came from a community where your masculinity is determined by how many women they ed. And unfortunately I participated in this just like everyone else. Though I have never been involved with a rape ( only loosers have to force non consenting people to have sex ) I am really not suprised that the numbers of rape in Canada & the U.S. is well above the average for Europe. The reason is obvious. European countries, especially Holland & Spain are so much more sexually mature than us. I don't see them getting so offended by nudity, or people just trying to live their lives. For most Europeans sex or South Americans sex is natural as long as its done in a safe, and in a way that doesn't violate anyone. Also I know several women who choose to dance dirty with me, just playing around, with no strings attached, and I've never had the problem with anyone getting offended. In fact most latin women I greet with a kiss on the cheek since it is a custom in most of that community. In a society as uptight & sexually immature as ours everyone looses, and the numbers of rapes & suicides ( 4X higher among gay youth ) in Canada & the U.S. prove it.
As someone who is very interested in psychology, I came on here as I often do ( I don't post much since I haven't lived there in a while )
to see what is new back at home, and ended up feeling that I had to defend someone who I thought was unfairly attacked, and in the process had a interesting mature discussion with several people on this forum, people who I didn't know before, and now have alot of respect for.
Hopefully, everyone learned something from this thread.
Thank you. Peace! |
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| Crib |
| quote: | Originally posted by EvilTree
I do dislike to say this, but this thread, while informative, seemed to have lost its steam. Seems to be a lot of same points repeated over and over. |
+1 |
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