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gay guys who use their sexual preference to their advantage...... (pg. 34)
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| Shamen DJ's |
| quote: | Originally posted by naesean3
1) The different hetero and homo modes of maleness are not, of course, biologically fixed.
2) Conversely, as gay men grow in self-esteem and confidence - ceasing to see themselves as passive victims of homophobia and as having failed the test of manliness - some may embrace a more assertive form of male behavior.
3)Whether consciously or not, gay men redefine what it means to be a man. We show that maleness need not involve machismo.
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1) I have read probably a hundred psychology books and still don't know the answer. I guess I'm gay because even though I have slept with, and even loved different women, I never did have the feelings that are true love, the feeling that leads you to wan't to spend the rest of your life with someone. Gayness has been observed in all wild primates, our ancesters, so there is a biological component. I also think there is a range of sexuality, especially considering how many supposedly "straight" men have hit on me, a few times even with their girlfriend right there. I enjoy it because it feeds my ego, but so far I've only had one male sexual partner.
2) I don't feel any less man because I'm gay, as I get the impression you don't either. While there are some real flammers in DC/Balt. ( who I feel embarrassed by - I guess that's the little bit of insecurity left in me ), there are unfortunately alot of gay men here that have overcompensated for trying to prove their masculinity by taking steroids. My guess is that Toronto is no different. I see some gay people act overly "fake" deliberately effeminate & bitchy and sometimes I wonder if they are just filling a stereotype put on them by straight society, or if they are actually silly enough to believe that by shocking people they will somehow trigger acceptence. I personally won't hang out with anyone who I feel isn't being themself.
3) On the Machismo topic, that word can also mean sexual immaturity.
Several people gaybashing on this forum sound just like myself before I decided to be honest with myself & everyone else, I guess that would make us the meaning of "machismo" - trying to prove your masculinity. Personally, I think alot of people on this forum have lied about their own sexuality considering how threatened they get by gay people. I guess they are trying to assert that "If I show people I hate Gays then People May Think I'm Straight". We'll someone I knew just after high school, who was one of the biggest gay bashers I've met, ended up trying to proposition me while he was very drunk. After I refused, our friendship ended due to embarrasment on both of us. I don't know what he's doing now, but I hope he feels secure about himself now, and I really feel sorry for the woman he had pregnant.
After that incident I had no respect for that former friend ever again. I guess his reactions are the result of living in a community where if someone was openly gay they would probably get beat up. Unfortunately he probably still lives there, and suffers with severe depression. I also know 2 other people in the Marines who didn't know I was gay several years ago, and they used to say alot of homophobic . Both of them after finding out me & my partners real sexuality, tried to make a pass at him, one of them I think had a crush on me also. I guess the "Don't ask, don't tell" policy works real well. Those friendships quickly ended.
I also knew a guy and a girl at the club who were actually friends, and pretended they were a straight couple, and continued to have group sex & gay sex. shhhhh
they don't know people told me about it. I never told them I was gay,
I had too much fun watching their show, which alot of people bought.
It seems the level of sexual maturity shows alot of people here are uncomfortable with sexuality especially their own. They probably know very little about gay people and have probably never checked a book out of the library about it - they are probably too embarrassed. As for the people here that had the most mature discussions, you are probably very well adjusted, and feel good about yourselves whether you are straight or gay.
There is a large gay electronic music club here in DC called Velvet Nations and I know alot of people that go there when major DJ's spin there, and are 100% straight, and go there with their woman as well, and don't feel the least bit uncomfortable. They enjoy laughing at ugly people with their shirts off, but otherwise go there to enjoy the music. That there proves to me that they're not gay. IF SOMEONE IS UNCOMFORTABLE AROUND GAY PEOPLE AND CAN'T GIVE AN INTELLIGENT EXPLANATION AS TO WHY - THEY ARE GAY.
REASONS PEOPLE DISCRIMINATE AGAINST GAYS
- They are threatened by something they despise in themselves
- Religious fanaticism
- Child Abuse ( by people that should be in jail )
- Ignorance taught by parents or family members |
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| Trip McNeely |
| quote: | Originally posted by EvilTree
I do dislike to say this, but this thread, while informative, seemed to have lost its steam. Seems to be a lot of same points repeated over and over. |
Even the Tripster is bored of reading this over and over!!! I was just picking out wrong arguments and showing them to people hehehe :D :D :D
There was a few mis said things in the beginning, and now its over...yet new people must enter the fray and continue on the battle....!!! |
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| Shamen DJ's |
| quote: | Originally posted by naesean3
true enough
if I took you seriously at all in this thread - I would of done us both an apparent favour and poked my eyes out until I bled to death and put me out of my gay misery.... LOL!!
but instead I spilled my guts and believe it or not - I feel much better than I felt in a while because of it!
LOL!!
:p |
You obviously have a huge personality. God loves you, and how should too. I have gained alot of respect for someone I did not know here.
You'll feel good helping other people who are gay accept themselves, and I have met some very special people that way, and learned alot too. It would do alot more good than arguing on a forum. But I guess, may'be if a few people walk away from this enlightened then it was all for good. No regrets here either. |
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| 5hiftn6ears |
| quote: | Originally posted by naesean3
The different hetero and homo modes of maleness are not, of course, biologically fixed. As social values and expectations of men change, we could witness a greater convergence and blurring of straight and gay masculinity. The kinder, gentler New Man may, eventually, predominate among male heterosexuals. Conversely, as gay men grow in self-esteem and confidence - ceasing to see themselves as passive victims of homophobia and as having failed the test of manliness - some may embrace a more assertive form of male behaviour. This evolution in masculinity might, one day, lead to a greater degree of male communality, where queers are just as combative as straights, and heteros are equally as tender as gays.
Gay men do, indeed, have a lot in common with heterosexual women. Apart from our mutual interest in men we both get shafted by straight male machismo. It is hetero men who victimise women and queers. Their misogyny and homophobia causes us suffering. That gives women and gay men a mutual interest in sticking together and challenging straight male attitudes.
Whether consciously or not, gay men redefine what it means to be a man. We show that maleness need not involve machismo.
we obviously enjoy each others company (gay men/straight women) and some friendships transcend many emotional boundaries - if we can't relate to each other and communicate - something is terribly wrong.
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i'd have to disagree Sean....In my opinion...By no means am I violent person (those who know me can attest to this), and I use physical force as a last resort....but sometimes the only way to get through to some people is for them to have to pick their teeth up off the floor...sorry but it's true. And I really don't think it undefines (is that a word?) me as a man for having to do it in the past.
p.s. i didn't take that as being directed at me...just what i think of the situation |
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| Vivid Boy |
| quote: | Originally posted by naesean3
(just so you know you were beat out by at least 3 inches).
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in 5 inch bastard!!!!! |
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| StereoPrincess |
| quote: | Originally posted by Shamen DJ's
REASONS PEOPLE DISCRIMINATE AGAINST GAYS
- They are threatened by something they despise in themselves
- Religious fanaticism
- Child Abuse ( by people that should be in jail )
- Ignorance taught by parents or family members |
ARGH!!
I am currently pulling out all my hair.
No one is discriminating against gays.
TOTA is the most accepting bunch of people I have EVER met. There is no discrimination based on anything except one's behaviour and treatment of others.
The only way you can get discriminated against on TA is if you behave in a unaceptable way. |
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| musicsnob_NOT |
| quote: | Originally posted by naesean3
As an apparent appearance my gayness has not always been in your face (I AM NOT A FLAMING HOMOSEXUAL HITTING ON ALL YOU STRAIGHT MALE TA'S WITH ULTERIOR MOTIVES OF WANTING TO SUCK YOUR DICKS AND ING YOUR BRAINS OUT) - this does seem to be 99% of the reason why straight guys hate us - they think this bull - they are always so full of themselves aren't they?? Like I would even want to think about sex with 90% of you - please - I have never had a problem getting laid - TRUST ME!
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Who are the 10% you do think about having sex with?
:P |
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| magikb |
| quote: | Originally posted by musicsnob_NOT
Who are the 10% you do think about having sex with?
:P |
:haha: @ Jay.. you would ask this too... :p
I cannot believe this thread is still going..
it is like the energizer bunny! :) |
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| Shamen DJ's |
| I guess people that do attack gays and listen to EDM music are the equivalent of people that trash latino people then go eat at taco bell. |
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| Vivid Boy |
| quote: | Originally posted by Shamen DJ's
I guess people that do attack gays and listen to EDM music are the equivalent of people that trash latino people then go eat at taco bell. |
yeah ur right trance is gay |
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| Shamen DJ's |
| quote: | Originally posted by StereoPrincess
ARGH
TOTA is the most accepting bunch of people I have EVER met. There is no discrimination based on anything except one's behaviour and treatment of others. |
I agree. It seems only a small number of people on TOTA even participated on this thread. When ever I visit Toronto I have had mostly very positive experiences, and find the EDM community there very diverse, and have met some real cool people. I can't wait to take my vacation in Febuary when Toronto & Government will definately have to be one of my destinations again.
I find in alot of cities the EDM scene is far more accepting than the general public. Recently at a small EDM club in Wilkes Barre, Pennsylvania ( half the size of Windsor ) I definately found that to be the case again. In fact it seemed like a mini TOTA. While the music wasn't as good as what were used too, the people there were awesome. I also don't think it would be possible to find people as fun to party with outside the EDM scene, there, here or in Ontario. |
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| Shamen DJ's |
| quote: | Originally posted by Vivid Boy
yeah ur right trance is gay |
I see alot more gay people at house music events. Almost every gay club in DC plays house music, except for a "gay country club" I heard about. Gay Redneck sounds like an oxymoron to me. |
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