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Barrie Teen runs away, parents blame Video Games (pg. 4)
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| teufel-man |
Do you guys think there is a chance this kid is dead???
If so that would be terrible.....
I cant imagine a 15 year old (ie. hes not that young) getting so upset that he cant play a video game that he runs away and just lets himself die or something terrible
unless he ran into the woods and then got lost.... that would be sad |
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| Abercrombie |
The parents used bad judgement from the get-go, or just sadly VERY NAIVE.
-You don't allow your kids to smoke at 15.
-You don't allow your kids to get drunk at 15.
-You don't allow your kids to watch porn at age 15.
-You don't allow your 15 year old to see an adult movie in theatres.
You don't allow your child to play games rated Mature 17+ at the age of 14 unsupervised, or at all.
It shouldn't be a parental judgement call when you're 4 years below the appropriate age. I'm sorry for their loss, but there's parental ratings on things for a reason. It's really sad it took this incident for them and others to realize that. |
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| kaniz |
Whats the fact it was a M rated game have to do with anything? It could have been any game that he was hopelessly addicted to regardless of rating - World of Warcraft, EverQuest, hell - Peggle if one was so inclined, or just "video games in general".
I do think that his parents could have done a better job at enforcing video game restrictions earlier before it got this far, but at the end of the day - They removed his XBOX360, and he ran away because of it. Doesn't matter what rating the game he was addicted to had.
I don't think too many parents fully grasp video games and the level of addiction they can have, I'm sure there's a good chunk of parents that are just happy that their kids are not out running in gangs or with "the wrong crowd" or causing trouble on the streets.
Ultimately, it is the parents fault - but I do think it's terrible that their child is missing, and quite possibly might be dead. But, if they do find him alive, they need to give him a quick smack to the head, and chuck the XBOX into the garbage. |
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| Intangible |
The guy from Man Tracker flew out to help in the search.
But seems like nothing has been found.
I can't believe its been two weeks. The poor parents.
I agree with Kainz. Except I don't put as much blame on the parents. I think the video game addictions is only now starting to become a common issue, especially with all these never-ending games. There isn't a lot of information for parents on this topic.... what signs to look for and how serious it can be. Although they should have done something sooner, they may have not realized it was a problem until its too late.
And its not easy to take these games away from kids. Most kids these days have the systems in their bedrooms. They play the games behind closed doors where parents can't see.
The whole topic hits me really close to home as for a couple years I really feared my brother was addicted to a video game. He spent all his free (and unfree time) playing a game. My parents kept saying 'when your subscription expires, no more' but he would always find a way to go by a subscription. They took the computer out of his room, but he still played all the time. They would disconnect the internet at night, but he would sneak downstairs and reconnect it. And the problem was that all of his school friends did the same thing, so when my parents would tell him to go hang with his friends he would say 'but they are all playing the game.'
It puts parents in a tough spot. Its hard to take something away from their child that they love doing so much. Im sure some parents can not see the difference between their child playing hockey for 5 hours a day vs playing 5 hours of video games. And at least they are safe at home and not in some gang.
I know my brother would have never run away if they had taken it fully away, but if there was a person who had lured him with lots of money and 'freedom' or whatever else... who knows. I've had a nice long chat with my brother since about online lurkers.
My point is that I understand that its not as easy as taking the game away from a child, especially when most parents cant see or understand the addiction. A lot of parents are naive to this.
I really hope that two things will come out of this
1) More awareness in regards to video game addiction problems (especially with children)
2) Even more awareness to online predators
I think its really unfair for people to judge the parents on their actions. They may be much more to the story or family dynamics that we dont see in the newspapers.
Its easy to judge. But maybe try some empathy.
My parents did the same thing when I was 13 and threatened to run away. I remember my mom coming into my room and saying 'dont forget to back winter clothes, you will get cold at night' However I never even left the door.
They must feel horrible knowing that they let their child run away.
:( |
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| teufel-man |
| quote: | Originally posted by Abercrombie
-You don't allow your 15 year old to see an adult movie in theatres.
You don't allow your child to play games rated Mature 17+ at the age of 14 unsupervised, or at all.
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I would have to disagree with those 2, if you arent letting them watch certain movies or play video games at 15 (or 14) then you are just outright sheltering them.
Basically any video game that involves a gun is rated M, and pretty much all the best video games do involve guns. If you are 14 and playing GTA, its not like you are thinking 'omg this is fun I should do this in real life'. 14/15 year olds arent little kids anymore.
I would say the no M video game rule should probably cover kids like 12 and under. I know I have been playing M rated video games my entire life and never did it cause any problems.
As for movies, the only think I wouldnt want my 15 year old to see is nudity/sexuality or extreme violence or torture, even then, at 15 I think they are more than capable.
I bet there are a few people on this board who starting raving at the age of 15 or shortly after, so playing a violent video or watching a violent movie seem sort of irrelevant at that stage
EDIT: isnt the average age of kids losing their virginity around 15-16/17ish.... so again if they are having sex around this age, they are waaaay past the point of not being mature enough to watch/play certan movies/games |
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| Skipper |
| quote: | Originally posted by teufel-man
EDIT: isnt the average age of kids losing their virginity around 15-16/17ish.... so again if they are having sex around this age, they are waaaay past the point of not being mature enough to watch/play certan movies/games |
I agree.
And they took the xbox away, I think they realized he was addicted (and who realizes until it already happens? many kids can play video games and not give 2 s about them. but you don't know what category your kid is going to fall in to, so you let them play.) - I just don't really see how they're greviously at fault here.
Good for MS for stepping up on the reward, but 50K is peanuts to them. |
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| exstasie |
| quote: | Originally posted by Skipper
I agree.
And they took the xbox away, I think they realized he was addicted (and who realizes until it already happens? many kids can play video games and not give 2 s about them. but you don't know what category your kid is going to fall in to, so you let them play.) - I just don't really see how they're greviously at fault here.
Good for MS for stepping up on the reward, but 50K is peanuts to them. |
I don't think the parents are at fault at all.
It's very difficult these days to monitor what your kids do and don't do anymore.
Kids are pretty smart these days and will find away do watch/play/do whatever they want even if their parents don't give them consent.
I guess its just up to the parents to try and monitor what they are doing and how long they play, but stuff like that is hard considering kids these days tend to play video games for extended periods of times.
Maybe try and get your kids more active and out of the house, but even then its still hard.
I know I use to play a lot of video games back in the day. I was never addicted to it, but there were times where I would play like 10 hours straight just because you get so into the story and game that you forget how long you've been playing for (oh how I hate you Final Fantasy!).
Even today I still enjoy video games. I don't have much time to play them anymore, maybe 2-3 hours a week (rockband doesn't count in that time) but its important to have a healthy balance.
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| kaniz |
Kids get spoiled and have computers, TVs and Consoles in their bedrooms. Trying to punish a kid by saying "go to your room!" is like pissing into the wind, as they will just go onto MSN, bitch about being "grounded", then load up their console and play away like there is no real punishment.
I don't think that young kids and even young teens should have TVs / Consoles / Computers / Video games in their room, especially if they have shown that they have a problem controlling their own usage. And, if they do have them in their rooms - poke your head in every hour or so to see whats up / what they are doing.
It's one thing if your kid has already shown they are trust-worthy, still getting good grades in school and maintaining an active social life. But, if they are starting to seep into problem territory - it's time for the parents to start stepping in more often.
When my video game / internet habits started to get out of hand (damn you EverQuest), my parents talked to me, said they didn't like how I wasn't spending much time with the family, and started to force me to come out and spend "Family Time" with them - even if was just sitting there watching TV with them.
If your kid wants a console? make them earn it - either by getting a job, or doing chores for allowance. Same with paying for subscriptions and their own games. It's one way of cutting back their time playing games because they need to spend time doing stuff to earn money to actually buy them.
But really, if your kid is spending too much time playing video games to the point you think they have a problem, don't let them keep that stuff in their room where they can do it unmonitored.
When I was a kid / teen, there were plenty of times I'd curse my parents. But now that I'm older, and reading stuff like this - I just realize that they were doing their jobs by being PARENTS to me, and not trying to be my best friend. |
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| Skipper |
| quote: | Originally posted by kaniz
If your kid wants a console? make them earn it - either by getting a job, or doing chores for allowance. |
Yeah, except then it's only fair that they use it as much as they want. |
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| kaniz |
Since when was being a kid/teen living under your parents roof and their rules a fair deal? Being treated "fairly" and with "respect" as a teen is something that needs to be earned by the child, not a free gift that is dolled out nilly-willy.
My parents could be hard-asses at times, and more than once I'd moan "thats not fair!", but like I said - looking back on it, I think they did the right thing (generally), and a bang-up job being parents.
Its their job to keep you on the right track, to keep an eye on you and ensure that your choices are in your best interest.
Generally speaking, once I got into my mid/older teen years - I had a stupid amount of freedom, more so than most of my other friends. But, that was freedom I had earned, and my parents trusted me. I also didn't abuse that freedom, because I knew if I ed it up - they would 'take it away' far quicker than they gave it to me.
End result: even though I could take off for 3-4 days at a time and give the once-a-day call home "Mom, staying at so-and-so's tonight" - I kept out of trouble. Didn't smoke, drink, do drugs, still managed to hold down summer jobs and keep good grades in school.
Not like they were hard asses /all/ the time, but they were when they needed to be. |
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| Yohan |
| quote: | Originally posted by kaniz
Since when was being a kid/teen living under your parents roof and their rules a fair deal? Being treated "fairly" and with "respect" as a teen is something that needs to be earned by the child, not a free gift that is dolled out nilly-willy. |
since the law said you can't beat your kids |
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| ChemEnhanced |
When I was a kid...I didn't have anything entertaining in my room...my bedroom was to sleep in. The Atari and computer were in the basement. If I wanted to plan Atari I had to ask my parents if I could and I could only play when all my school work was done and I showed my parents that it was done. When my school work was done I was allowed to play my pac-man and space invaders but only for an hour or two at max.
Personally, that is more then enough time for a kid to have some fun playing games. The parents should have established a daily or weekly limit of play time from the minute they allowed him to have a console system.
Its just easier to let the kid sit infront of the TV and play games all day then to actually get involved in their lives. |
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