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oh my god (pg. 42)
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| Moral Hazard |
| quote: | Originally posted by occrider
Is alcohol a schedule 1 narcotic??? NO! Jesus knows this. That's why he bled wine ... because it's LEGAL! Jesus is very law-abiding. If wine were illegal back in the day he probably would have bled plum juice. Or non-alcoholic apple cider or something ... <--- Solidarity with god! |
I don't think Jesus gives a about what is or is not a banned substance in the US.
Jesus wasn't law abiding... his whole ministry was contrary to the laws and religious customs of the day. Clearly you have no understanding of the times in which Jesus lived.
BTW, if E was availible back in JC's time you can bet your ass he'd be handing them out like candy. With all his talk of loving your neighbour and .... hell, if he were alive today he'd be that annoying in' candy raver covered in beads and LED jewelery talking your ear off about PLUR while you're outside hauling on a menthol trying to bump up your roll and resist punching the furry pant, back pack wearing saviour right in mouth. |
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| Moral Hazard |
| quote: | Originally posted by lücid
moral i  you. |
I'm touched... thank you. |
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| George Smiley |
| quote: | Originally posted by Moral Hazard
I don't think Jesus gives a about what is or is not a banned substance in the US.
Jesus wasn't law abiding... his whole ministry was contrary to the laws and religious customs of the day. Clearly you have no understanding of the times in which Jesus lived.
BTW, if E was availible back in JC's time you can bet your ass he'd be handing them out like candy. With all his talk of loving your neighbour and .... hell, if he were alive today he'd be that annoying in' candy raver covered in beads and LED jewelery talking your ear off about PLUR while you're outside hauling on a menthol trying to bump up your roll and resist punching the furry pant, back pack wearing saviour right in mouth. |
I thought the body was supposed to be a temple :rolleyes: |
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| trancaholic |
| quote: | Originally posted by Floorfiller
in the early church, the people establishing this religion needed a way to legitimize it so it can gain widespread acceptance. so the stories of the bible were created to serve that need.
who are the only people that could write at the time? educated people which more often than not were the temple scribes and all that crap. these are people that are obviously more intelligent than the general population and recognize that with the birth of a new religion, they would need to embrace it and somehow create a way to remain in positions of power. because these people had been religious figures, they easily made the transition from communicating with pagan gods and the christian god in the eyes of the stupid commoner... |
no offens but i think this explenetion is a bit far out! have u herd of okams rasor??? it means that u should take the simple explenetion always - and ur explenetion fills severel lines and lives a lot of unanswered questions. for instance u seem to asume that theres pagan gods!!!!:wtf: :wtf: :wtf: not very like an atheist!!! |
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| occrider |
| quote: | Originally posted by Moral Hazard
I don't think Jesus gives a about what is or is not a banned substance in the US.
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Of course Jesus cares about the substance abuse laws of the US. After all, this is where all his chosen people are:
You're saying he wouldn't give a about the laws of his own land??? You must be on crack or something ... of course you would be being that your not in jesusland!
| quote: |
Jesus wasn't law abiding... his whole ministry was contrary to the laws and religious customs of the day. Clearly you have no understanding of the times in which Jesus lived.
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Jesus was law abiding to Christian law. Not those wacky Jewish laws. God doesn't care about Jewish laws. Like I could go to Israel tomorrow and punch someone in the face and God would like look the other way.
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BTW, if E was availible back in JC's time you can bet your ass he'd be handing them out like candy. With all his talk of loving your neighbour and .... hell, if he were alive today he'd be that annoying in' candy raver covered in beads and LED jewelery talking your ear off about PLUR while you're outside hauling on a menthol trying to bump up your roll and resist punching the furry pant, back pack wearing saviour right in mouth. |
Nooo I already described what Jesus would be like if he were alive today:
| quote: |
Originally posted by occrider
No way. If Jesus were alive today, he would probably be some kind of kick-ass cyborg:
And then he would run around swinging his cross smoting heathens left and right!
Moral Hazard: "Oh no ... it's jesus! Run!"
Jeborg: "Salvation is through me ... bitch!!!" *Smotes Moral Hazard with cross*
Moral Hazard: "oh why did I choose atheism?? wh... argghhhh" *Gets pummeled by Jeborg*
Yea a lot of people would die in this thread. That's wjwd.
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I modified it slightly from the original for dramatic effect!
:eyespop: :eyespop: :eyespop: <--- Solidarity with god! |
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| Moral Hazard |
| quote: | Originally posted by occrider
Of course Jesus cares about the substance abuse laws of the US. After all, this is where all his chosen people are:
You're saying he wouldn't give a about the laws of his own land??? You must be on crack or something ... of course you would be being that your not in jesusland!
Jesus was law abiding to Christian law. Not those wacky Jewish laws. God doesn't care about Jewish laws. Like I could go to Israel tomorrow and punch someone in the face and God would like look the other way.
Nooo I already described what Jesus would be like if he were alive today:
I modified it slightly from the original for dramatic effect!
:eyespop: :eyespop: :eyespop: <--- Solidarity with god! |
You are too in' funny!
I love that map!
FYI, there were no christian laws or christianity in the time of Jesus so your argument does not hold water.
Also, I thought I made it clear, I'm not an athiest, I just don't buy a literal interpretation of the bible.
Oh, and I stand by my Jesus the candy raver position. New testimate = PLUR |
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| DJ RJT |
| So, I'm trying to think of what would be the best subject to hijack this thread would be? Any Suggestions? |
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| squirrelly |
| quote: | Originally posted by kr00t0n
Not street smart? :stongue:
I grew up in South Africa man, stuff was rough over there, I'm plenty street smart.
And I wasn't attacking your spelling, I in fact made a mistake myself, but over-emphasising things does look silly!!!!1111oneone
(note the irony) |
Isn't South Africa a predominantly white area actually?
Prove to me that Jesus really was the son of God rather than just a very intelligent man perhaps, and then we'll have something to discuss. Jesus was supposed to be the saviour, no? Funny, because all the crusades that were lead after his death did nothing other than slaughter millions of people. Yes, I really want to believe he's the saviour after several crusades were held in his name that just robbed and slaughtered innocents. There is no verifiable proof that he was ever the son of God. The bible that was written well after his death and has been rewritten and has had several things omitted does not qualify as "proof". The bible also suggests that there is no evolution (i.e. Adam and Eve). |
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| Floorfiller |
| quote: | Originally posted by trancaholic
no offens but i think this explenetion is a bit far out! have u herd of okams rasor??? it means that u should take the simple explenetion always - and ur explenetion fills severel lines and lives a lot of unanswered questions. for instance u seem to asume that theres pagan gods!!!!:wtf: :wtf: :wtf: not very like an atheist!!! |
are you being serious in this thread? because seriously...i can't tell anymore...some of the stuff you are saying is just ridiculous...
and how can you even attempt to use occam's razor as some kind of defense when you are suggesting these elaborate conspiracy theories?
and did i say their were pagan gods? no. i was simply saying that there was a time when people believed in pagan rituals, which if that can be considered absurd than so can christianity or any other religion as far as i'm concerned, and there were high priests in powerful social positions. the emergence of christianity threatened their power and so they needed to become converts and adopt similar powerful positions within the new religions... |
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| occrider |
| quote: | Originally posted by Moral Hazard
FYI, there were no christian laws or christianity in the time of Jesus so your argument does not hold water.
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Ahhh, but jesus is the son of god! He probably talks to his dad a bunch, asks him about the future, and God gives him a heads up. Don't you worry, he knows what christian law is!
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Also, I thought I made it clear, I'm not an athiest, I just don't buy a literal interpretation of the bible.
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Yea you sayyyy you're not an atheist. But jesus probably won't buy it when it's smoting time. If I were you I would get a good anti-Jesus helmet, cuz a smoting hurts. Personally I would recommend something sissy-like:
There's that off-chance that jesus will feel sorry for you ... I doubt it, but that's yoru best bet!
| quote: |
Oh, and I stand by my Jesus the candy raver position. New testimate = PLUR |
Yea that's what a lot of people think. But Jesus gets pissed when people don't listen!
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Mathew 10
10:33 But whosoever shall deny me before men, him will I also deny before my Father which is in heaven.
10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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What a vindicitive badass! |
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| lücid |
| quote: | Originally posted by DJ RJT
So, I'm trying to think of what would be the best subject to hijack this thread would be? Any Suggestions? |
i had a ed up dream last night with you in it. |
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| Dmatrox |
people with a particular beleif beleive that their beleif and/or religion is right and everyone else is wrong.
of all the different religious people i know, christians are the most oblivious. |
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