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I'm in love with a friend and I don't know what to do (pg. 10)
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| ChemEnhanced |
| quote: | Originally posted by Intangible
But if a girl is being nice or playful that should not cound as a signal or a mixed signal... it may just be her personality. |
but it is a signal...whether she intends it to be or not. Its just the same as a bird showing off their colours to attrack a mate. |
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| Jennifer_P_ |
| quote: | Originally posted by Yohan
hmmm... how do i explain this without putting my foot in my mouth lol
apparently according to genetics, straight dudes look for girls to spread their gene while girls look in a dude who might be a good potential mate to safeguard their offsprings (straight vs long term relationship theory)
this, i've been told, is genetically hardwired so it's hard to escape this.
now through education, cultural/social values, upbringing, personal moral values, etc, we decide whether to act on our 'baser' instincts or not. smarter dudes think with their brain and not let their penis.
but the dude is ALWAYS looking for signals. the dude may not act on signals. and seriously, it is nice to know that a girl is attracted to you because it appeals to our baser instinct that a dude can attract a girl to pass on his genes therefore ensuring survival of his genes. |
I like and understand your explanation but... you're basically saying that women should constantly confirm their attraction to men that they're "into"?
Fack - this would all be so simple if we could all just speak our minds eh? |
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| Intangible |
| quote: | Originally posted by ChemEnhanced
but it is a signal...whether she intends it to be or not. Its just the same as a bird showing off their colours to attrack a mate. |
Well fml |
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| Jennifer_P_ |
| quote: | Originally posted by Intangible
Well fml |
mine too :p |
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| Yohan |
| quote: | Originally posted by Intangible
But if a girl is being nice or playful that should not cound as a signal or a mixed signal... it may just be her personality. |
this may be true, but if the dude doesn't know the girl well enough to know that she flirts a lot or playful or whatever, he may get the wrong signal
this goes for both parties, but if you feel that the other party is taking things the wrong way, get clarification. take a step back and assess
probably the safest course of action is either have a talk with your dude friend to make your feelings clear as hell, or just don't flirt with your dude friends |
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| Intangible |
| quote: | Originally posted by Jennifer_P_
mine too :p |
Im thinking about getting a shirt that says 'FYI I am probably NOT flirting, but ask me just incase" |
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| Sly_Guy |
| quote: | Originally posted by Intangible
Here is the problem
Guys need to be clear when asking a girl out..
PLEASE USE THE WORD DATE when asking a girl out otherwise she may just think you want to hang out as friends...
How to ask a girl out: "I'd love to go on a date with you, let's go out for drinks"
How not to ask a girl out: "Let's get together for drinks" "When are you free? Lets hang out" "Let's go out and party" ... these just lead to confusion... |
this isn't the problem. I've found a lot of girls are indecisive, so asking out for a 'date' right off the bat yields more negative results than it should [it's like introducing a girl to your parents on your first date, only less severe]. So guys will mask the first time he asks you out to make you feel more comfortable. Also, to a guy, asking outright is putting yourself out there, and although we as guys are expected to chase, no one likes getting rejected, so asking someone out 'for drinks' is a nice way of not completely putting yourself out there. First dates are simply just a means of feeling out compatibility with the other person, but if you aren't feeling potential for them before agreeing to spend time, then at least drop some kind of line about either being hooked up or being interested in someone else. Send some kind of signal that it'll be an uphill battle if they want to persue. |
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| Yohan |
| quote: | Originally posted by Jennifer_P_
I like and understand your explanation but... you're basically saying that women should constantly confirm their attraction to men that they're "into"? |
if you're trying to get the dude's attention, by any means necessary? lol. or the girl asks the guy out on a date. why is that a social taboo thing?| quote: |
Fack - this would all be so simple if we could all just speak our minds eh? |
yes! my life would be so much simpler if girls that aren't attracted to me just tell me to off |
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| Jennifer_P_ |
| quote: | Originally posted by Intangible
Im thinking about getting a shirt that says 'FYI I am probably NOT flirting, but ask me just incase" |
haha - kinda like my "Dude ~ I just wanna dance"
Honestly - I like threads like this but it's gonna put my into paro-mode for awhile methinks... |
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| ChemEnhanced |
| quote: | Originally posted by Intangible
Im thinking about getting a shirt that says 'FYI I am probably NOT flirting, but ask me just incase" |
you should so do that....it would be a great shirt for the club :p |
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| Intangible |
| quote: | Originally posted by Jennifer_P_
haha - kinda like my "Dude ~ I just wanna dance" |
hahah I like you.
I once had a guy write me on facebook the next day saying I was the biggest bitch in the world because I wouldnt take a few minutes to stop dancing and talk to him. Ha. ... now thats exactly the kind of guy I want to date... :rolleyes:
Notice to guys: Don't bug the ladies while they are dancing. Also don't stare at them from the corner creeping them out... |
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| Intangible |
| quote: | Originally posted by ChemEnhanced
you should so do that....it would be a great shirt for the club :p |
hahahah I probably will... I love my custom shirts :) |
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