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I'm in love with a friend and I don't know what to do (pg. 8)
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| Moral Hazard |
| quote: | Originally posted by StereoPrincess
that's cuz you always have a boyfriend. off limits. |
If you think the fact that a woman is involved with someone automatically makes men view her as off-limits then you overestimate most men.
Lisa, if you have male friends that have not tried to sleep with you it is only because they have not found the right juxtaposition of circumstances and opportunity that have lead them to believe that if they make their move they will successfully penetrate you. They remain your friend because they are still biding their time for the right circumstances and opportunity. Don't get me wrong, you're a really great young lady; but, guys that don't want to have sex with you (probably pretty rare, BTW) won't put the time in to be your friend... they'll just enjoy hanging with you whenever that happens. If the guy is putting in sufficient effort as to qualify as a friend then he's probably also touched himself while thinking about you. |
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| MissK |
| quote: | Originally posted by barbina
I meet anyone and I think of how we could possibly bang - whether I intend to, want to or could even really make it happen. Its just me assessing the person infront of me. Its not me basing a friendship on sex.
I think thats normal.
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So are you saying when you met me, you assessed whether I was sleeping with material?
LOL!!
I don't know what 'normal' is... but I can def guarantee you that's is not something I think about the minute I meet someone. Sleeping with material builds with time. I could think someone is hot but that's not enough to make me jump in bed with them.
I wonder how many people out there think 'sex' the minute they meet someone?? And who is willing to admit it... |
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| Sly_Guy |
| quote: | Originally posted by Intangible
Yup
Nothing sucks more than a guy ending what you thought was a great 'friendship' because he realizes you arent ever going to sleep with him or date him. |
and nothing sucks more than a woman who gives out all the signals and doesn't come thru by way of withholding critical information like "I'm with someone" or "I'm married" |
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| Jay Leno |
| quote: | Originally posted by Moral Hazard
If you think the fact that a woman is involved with someone automatically makes men view her as off-limits then you overestimate most men.
Lisa, if you have male friends that have not tried to sleep with you it is only because they have not found the right juxtaposition of circumstances and opportunity that have lead them to believe that if they make their move they will successfully penetrate you. They remain your friend because they are still biding their time for the right circumstances and opportunity. Don't get me wrong, you're a really great young lady; but, guys that don't want to have sex with you (probably pretty rare, BTW) won't put the time in to be your friend... they'll just enjoy hanging with you whenever that happens. If the guy is putting in sufficient effort as to qualify as a friend then he's probably also touched himself while thinking about you. |
:haha: |
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| StereoPrincess |
| quote: | Originally posted by Moral Hazard
If you think the fact that a woman is involved with someone automatically makes men view her as off-limits then you overestimate most men.
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i don't think that at all. it's someone you save for later, if their relationship doesn't last. you are in there. |
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| Jennifer_P_ |
| quote: | Originally posted by Moral Hazard
but, guys that don't want to have sex with you won't put the time in to be your friend... they'll just enjoy hanging with you whenever that happens. If the guy is putting in sufficient effort as to qualify as a friend then he's probably also touched himself while thinking about you. |
... It's just hard for us ladies to "get" ~ we're not wired the same-way. It took me a lot of conversation and a lot of personal experiences to finally accept it. (and ya - I think it sucks dude)
I hope you guys at least recognize that difference between us girls and you boys and try your best to avoid fack'n around with our hearts too much.... Boy/girl hurt goes both ways but no one can convince me that women aren't more vulnerable; the simple fact that we are not as driven by sex highlights our vulnerability pretty loud and clear... |
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| Jennifer_P_ |
| quote: | Originally posted by MissK
I wonder how many people out there think 'sex' the minute they meet someone?? |
... I think it's pretty-safe to say that boys do pretty-often babe.
(and I'm not diss'n them by saying that ~ it's simply biology) |
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| Sly_Guy |
| quote: | Originally posted by StereoPrincess
i don't think that at all. it's someone you save for later, if their relationship doesn't last. you are in there. |
bingo. "Long term investment" is the term I like to use.
For further clarification, there are those that actively persue a long-term investment while a girl is still involved, they are snakes. Those that prefer to sit it out and wait are the friends. |
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| Intangible |
| quote: | Originally posted by StereoPrincess
that's cuz you always have a boyfriend. off limits. |
Yup... The one thing that sucks about being single.
It's great when you have a boyfriend and you meet guys because you know that if you start talking/hanging out its based on mutual intentions of just being friends no awkwardness. (Unless the guy is a total creeper)
But when single there tends to be awkardnessness. One wants to be friends while the other makes attempts to flirt. And sometimes it's hard to send clear 'i just want to be friends' messages. |
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| ChemEnhanced |
| quote: | Originally posted by Intangible
Yup... The one thing that sucks about being single.
It's great when you have a boyfriend and you meet guys because you know that if you start talking/hanging out its based on mutual intentions of just being friends no awkwardness. (Unless the guy is a total creeper)
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Even the nice guys are not looking to be your friend....regardless of whether or not you have a boyfriend.
I may be letting out the man secret but no guys intention is to be just friends....never....and any guy that tells you differently is lying. |
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| Yohan |
| quote: | Originally posted by Intangible
But when single there tends to be awkardnessness. One wants to be friends while the other makes attempts to flirt. And sometimes it's hard to send clear 'i just want to be friends' messages. |
And girls who can't send clear 'I'm not interested' msg drives boys nuts.
Don't foot around the issue. If you're not interested in the dude, please send a clear message. Use smoke signals, write on your forehead, whatever. But nothing confuses a boy more than a girl who for whatever reason can't send clear signals. Esp for dudes who are socially clueless when it comes to reading women! (that's like, learning another language)
Be blatantly obvious if you have to. Tell the dude to off. But for the love of god don't send mixed signals. (being overly friendly can be read as still being interested in the dude) |
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| Intangible |
| quote: | Originally posted by ChemEnhanced
I may be letting out the man secret but no guys intention is to be just friends....never....and any guy that tells you differently is lying. |
There is ALWAYS an exception to the rule. Not many.... but they are out there. |
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