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THE OFFICIAL CALIFORNIA PLUS BOOMER 'N WHISKERS THREAD! (pg. 99)
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View this Thread in Original format
| montie |
ahhh someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning
we didn't ignore you. you were sleeping
and i fell asleep
but now i have to give presentation
feel better hear is a cookie |
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| whiskers |
| quote: | Originally posted by montie
ahhh someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning
we didn't ignore you. you were sleeping
and i fell asleep
but now i have to give presentation
feel better hear is a cookie |
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| PhloTron |
| eh, you might want to get you brain checked...kinda disturbing little pictars you got there. At least Orbax's usually involve wanking off or somehting....:D :D :D |
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| whiskers |
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| whiskers |
| quote: | Originally posted by PhloTron
eh, you might want to get you brain checked...kinda disturbing little pictars you got there. At least Orbax's usually involve wanking off or somehting....:D :D :D |
those aren't mine, they're from a site i like. i find it fascinating how much you can learn about a person through their drawings.
it looks like this guy has some depression, hate, alcohol, and love issues and i think he might be a goth in some way. an abundance of blood and red colors... etc. |
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| whiskers |
| while you're all away, i shall do some spamming. HAHA, losers! :D |
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| whiskers |
| i can't just spam. i must post interesting things... i need ideas.... |
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| whiskers |
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| whiskers |
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| whiskers |
anyone ever see this:?
What you drink speaks volumes on what type of
personality you have.
Read on....
Before you order a drink in public, you should read
this! Seven New York City bartenders were asked if
they could nail a woman's personality based on what
she drinks. Though interviewed separately, they
concurred on almost all counts.
The results:
Drink: Beer
Personality: Casual, low-maintenance; down to earth.
Your Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.
Drink: Blender Drinks
Personality: Flaky, whiny, annoying; a pain in the
ass.
Your Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her
cabana boy.
Drink: Mixed Drinks
Personality: Older, more refined, high maintenance,
has very picky taste;knows EXACTLY what she wants.
Your Approach: You won't have to approach her. If
she's interested, she'll send YOU a drink.
Drink: Wine (does not include White Zinfandel)
Personality: Conservative and classy; sophisticated
yet giggles.
Your Approach: Tell her you love to travel and spend
quiet evenings with friends.
Drink: White Zinfandel Personality: Easy; thinks she
is classy and sophisticated, actually she has NO clue.
Your Approach: Make her feel smarter than she
is...this should be an easy target.
Drink: Shots Personality: Likes to hang with frat-boy
pals and looking to get totally drunk...and naked.
Your Approach: Easiest hit in the joint. You have been
blessed. Nothing to do but wait, however, be careful
not to make her mad!
Drink: Tequila
No explanations required - everyone knows what happens
here.
THEN, there is the MALE addendum ---- The deal with
guys is, as always, very simple and clear cut:
Domestic Beer: He's poor and wants to get laid.
Imported Beer: He likes good beer and wants to get
laid.
Wine: He's hoping that the wine will give him a
sophisticated image to help him get laid.
Whiskey: He doesn't give a damn about anything but
getting laid.
Tequila: He is thinking he has a chance with the
toothless waitress.
White Zinfandel: He's gay. |
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| whiskers |
Unusual But True Facts
(1) The citrus soda 7-UP was created in 1929; "7" was
selected because
the
original containers were 7 ounces. "UP" indicated the
direction of the
bubbles.
(2) Mosquito repellents don't repel. They hide you.
The spray blocks
the
mosquito's sensors so they don't know you're there.
(3) Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be
kept at least
6 feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles
from the flush.
(4) The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as
substitute
for blood plasma.
(5) American car horns beep in the tone of F.
(6) No piece of paper can be folded into half more
than 7 times.
(7) Donkeys kill more people annually than plane
crashes.
(8) 1 in every 4 Americans has appeared on television.
(9) You burn more calories sleeping than you do
watching television.
(10) Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are
fifty years of age
or
older.
(11) The first product to have a bar code was
Wrigley's gum.
(12) The king of hearts is the only king without a
mustache.
(13) A Boeing 747s wingspan is longer than the Wright
brothers' first
flight.
(14) American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by
eliminating one olive
from
each salad served in first-class.
(15) Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise.
(16) The first CD pressed in the US was Bruce
Springsteen's "Born in
the
USA."
(17) Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at
waking you up in the
morning.
(18) The 57 on the Heinz ketchup bottle represents the
number of
varieties
of pickles the company once had.
(19) The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are
called
aglets.
(20) Most dust particles in your house are made from
dead skin.
(21) The first owner of the Marlboro company died of
lung cancer.
(22) Barbie's full name is Barbara Millicent Roberts.
(23) Michael Jordan makes more money from Nike
annually than all of the
Nike factory workers in Malaysia combined.
(24) Adolf Hitler's mother seriously considered having
an abortion but
was talked out of it by her doctor.
(25) Marilyn Monroe had six toes.
(26) All US Presidents have worn glasses. Some just
didn't like being
seen
wearing them in public.
(27) The sound of E.T. walking was made by someone
squishing her hands
in
jelly.
(28) Debra Winger was the voice of E.T.
(29) Pearls melt in vinegar.
(30) It takes 3,000 cows to supply the NFL with enough
leather for a
year's
supply of footballs.
(31) Thirty-five percent of the people who use
personal ads for dating
are
already married.
(32) The 3 most valuable brand names on earth:
Marlboro,
Coca-Cola, and Budweiser, in that order.
(33) It's possible to lead a cow upstairs...but not
downstairs.
(34) Humans are the only primates that don't have
pigment in the palms
of their hands.
(35) Ten percent of the Russian government's income
comes from
the sale of vodka.
(36) The sentence "The quick brown fox jumps over the
lazy dog," uses
every
letter in the alphabet. (Developed by Western Union to
Test telex/two
communications)
(37) Average life span of a major league baseball: 7
pitches.
(38) A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows
why.
(39) The airplane Buddy Holly died in was the
"American
Pie."(Thus the name of the Don McLean song.)
(40) Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a
great king from
history. * Spades - King David; * Clubs - Alexander
the Great; *Hearts
-Charlemagne; * Diamonds - Julius Caesar.
(41) Clans of long ago that wanted to get rid of their
unwanted people
without killing them used to burn their houses
down-hence the
expression "to
get fired."
(42) Hershey's Kisses are called that because the
machine that makes
them
looks like it's kissing the conveyor belt.
(43) Only one person in two billion will live to be
116 or older.
(44) Snails can sleep for 3 years without eating.
(45) Actor Tommy Lee Jones and US vice-president Al
Gore were freshman
roommates at Harvard.
(46) The fingerprints of koala bears are virtually
indistinguishable
from
those of humans, so much so that they could be
confused at a crime
scene.
(47) Months that begin on a Sunday will always have a
"Friday the
13th."
(48) The Eisenhower interstate system requires that
one mile in every
five
must be straight. These straight sections are usable
as
airstrips in times of war or other emergencies.
(49) There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.
(50) All of the clocks in the movie "Pulp Fiction" are
stuck on 4:20
(51) A pregnant gold fish is called a twit.
(52) Rocks explode in microwaves.
(53) Steam rollers don't actually roll steam.
(54) 1,111,111 x 1,111,111 = 1234567654321
(55) Coca-Cola is better at cleaning your drain pipes
than products
like
Draino.
(56) The "save" icon on Microsoft Word shows a floppy
disk, with the
shutter
on backwards.
(57) The combination "ough" can be pronounced in nine
different ways.
The
following sentence contains them all: "A rough-coated,
dough-faced,
thoughtful ploughman strode through the streets of
Scarborough; after
falling into a slough, he coughed and coughed."
(58) The verb "cleave" is the only English word with
two synonyms which
are
antonyms of each other: adhere and separate.
(59) The only 15 letter word that can be spelled
without repeating a
letter
is uncopyrightable.
(60) Facetious and abstemious contain all the vowels
in the correct
order,
as does arsenious, meaning "containing arsenic."
(61) Emus and kangaroos cannot walk backwards, and are
on the
Australian
coat of arms for that reason.
(62) Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds, while
dogs only have
about
ten.
(63) The word "Checkmate" in chess comes from the
Persian phrase "Shah
Mat,"
which means, "the king is dead."
(64) Pinocchio is Italian for "pine head."
(65) Camel's milk does not curdle.
(66) Cat's urine glows under a blacklight.
(67) The reason firehouses have circular stairways is
from the days of
yore
when the engines were pulled by horses. The horses
were stabled on the
ground floor and figured out how to walk up straight
staircases.
(68) Non-dairy creamer is flammable.
(69) When opossums are playing 'possum', they are not
"playing." They
actually pass out from sheer terror.
(70) The Main Library at Indiana University sinks over
an inch every
year
because when it was built, engineers failed to take
into account the
weight
of all the books that would occupy the building..
(71) If you toss a penny 10,000 times, it will not be
heads 5,000
times, but
more like 4,950. The heads picture weighs more, so it
ends up on the
bottom..
(72) The glue on Israeli postage stamps is certified.
(73) The longest word in the English language,
according to the Oxford
English Dictionary, is
pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis.
The
only other word with the same amount of letters is
pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconioses, its
plural.
(74) An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
(75) The Ramses brand condom is named after the great
pharaoh Ramses II
who
fathered over 160 children.
(76) A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes.
(77) The characters Bert and Ernie on Sesame Street
were named after
Bert
the cop and Ernie the taxi driver in Frank Capra's
"Its A Wonderful
Life."
(78) The phrase "rule of thumb" is derived from an old
English law
which
stated that you couldn't beat your wife with anything
wider than your
thumb.
(79) "Stewardesses" is the longest word that is typed
with only the
left
hand.
(80) The Baby Ruth candy bar was actually named after
Grover
Cleveland's
baby daughter, Ruth.
(81) Armadillos have four babies at a time and they
are always all the
same
sex.
(82) Every time you lick a stamp, you're consuming
1/10 of a calorie.
(83) The phrase "sleep tight" derives from the fact
that early
mattresses
were filled with straw and held up with rope stretched
across the
bedframe.
A tight sleep was a comfortable sleep.
(84) "Three dog night" (attributed to Australian
Aborigines) came about
because on especially cold nights these nomadic people
needed three
dogs
(dingos, actually) to keep from freezing.
(85) Gilligan of Gilligan's Island had a first name
that was only used
once,
on the never-aired pilot show. His first name was
Willy. The skipper's
real
name on Gilligan's Island is Jonas Grumby. It was
mentioned once in the
first episode on their radio's newscast about the
wreck. (86) In
England,
the Speaker of the House is not allowed to speak.
(87) Ivory bar soap floating was a mistake. They had
been overmixing
the
soap formula causing excess air bubbles that made it
float. Customers
wrote
and told how much they loved that it floated, and it
has floated ever
since.
[It floats in gasoline, too.]
(88) Studies show that if a cat falls off the seventh
floor of a
building it
has about thirty percent less chance of surviving than
a cat that falls
off
the twentieth floor. It supposedly takes about eight
floors for the cat
to
realize what is occurring, relax and correct itself.
(89) Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus
every two weeks
or it
will digest itself.
(90) No word in the English language rhymes with
month, orange, silver,
and
purple.
(91) There are three credit cards for every person in
the United
States.
(92) Coca-cola was originally green.
(93) Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than
for the US
Treasury.
(94) Smartest dogs: 1) border collie; 2)poodle;
3)golden retriever;
Dumbest
dog: Afghan
(95) Hawaiian alphabet has 12 letters.
(96) Men can read smaller print than women; women can
hear better.
(97) Chances that an American lives within 50 miles of
where they grew
up: 1
in 2.
(98) City with the most Rolls Royce's per capital:
Hong Kong.
(99) State with the highest percentage of people who
walk to work:
Alaska.
(100) Chances of a white Christmas in New York: 1 in
4.
(101)Portion of US annual rainfall that falls in
April: 1/12 .
(102) Percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28%.
(103) Percentage of North America that is wilderness:
38%.
(104) Estimated percentage of American adults who go
on a diet each
year:
44%.
(105) Barbie's measurements if she were life size:
39-23-33.
(106) Average number of days a West German goes
without washing his
underwear: 7.
(107) Percentage of Americans who say that God has
spoken to them: 36%.
(108) Percentage of Americans who regularly attend
religious services:
43%.
(109) City with the highest per capita viewership of
television
evangelists:
Washington DC.
(110) Percentage of American men who say they would
marry the same
woman if
they had it to do all over again: 80%.
(111) Percentage of American women who say they would
marry the same
man:
50%.
(112) Percentage of men who say they are happier after
their divorce or
separation: 58%.
(113) Percentage of women who say they are happier
after their divorce
or
separation: 85%.(114) Number of different family
relationships for
which
Hallmark makes cards: 105.
(115) Cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of
eleven: $6,400.
(116) Average number of people airborne over the US
any given hour:
61,000.
(117) Percentage of Americans who have visited
Disneyland or Disney
World:
70%.
(118) Portion of ice cream sold that is vanilla: 1/3.
(119) Portion of potatoes sold that are French fried:
1/3.
(120) Percentage of Americans that eat at McDonalds
each day: 7
(121) Percentage of bird species that are monogamous:
90%
(122) Percentage of mammal species that are: 3%
(123) Number of US states that claim test scores in
their elementary
schools
are above national average: 50%
(124) Portion of Harvard students who graduate with
honors: 4/5
(125) Chances that a burglary in the US will be
solved: 1 in 7.
(126) Portion of land in the US owned by the
government: 1/3
(127) Only President to remain a bachelor: James
Buchanon
(128) Only first lady to carry a loaded revolver:
Eleanor Roosevelt
(129) Only President to win a Pulitzer: John F.
Kennedy for 'Profiles
in
Courage'.
(130) Only President awarded a patent: Abe Lincoln,
for a system of
buoying
vessels over shoals.
(131) Only food that does not spoil: honey
(132) Only person to win $64,000 Challenge and $64,000
Question: Dr.
Joyce
Brothers (subject is boxing)
(133) Only bird that can fly backwards: Hummingbird
(134) Only continent without reptiles or snakes:
Antartica
(135) Only animal besides human that can get sunburn:
pig
(136) Ostriches stick their heads in the sand to look
for water.
(137) An eagle can kill a young deer and fly away with
it.
(138) In the Caribbean there are oysters that can
climb trees.
(139) Polar bears are left-handed.
(140) Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in
their hair.
(141) Eskimos never gamble.
(142) The world's youngest parents were 8 and 9 and
lived in China in
1910.
(143) The youngest pope was 11 years old.
(144) Mark Twain didn't graduate from elementary
school.
(145) Proportional to their weight, men are stronger
than horses.
(146) Pilgrims ate popcorn at the first Thanksgiving
dinner.
(147) Your nose and ears never stop growing.
(148) Jupiter is bigger than all the other planets in
our solar system
combined.
(149) Hot water is heavier than cold.
(150) The parachute was invented by da Vinci in 1515.
(151) They have square watermelons in Japan. They
stack better.
(152) Cream does not weigh as much as milk.
(153) Starfish have eight eyes--one at the end of each
leg.
(154) Iceland consumes more Coca-cola per capita than
any other nation.
(156) First novel ever written on a typewriter was
'Tom Sawyer.'
(157) There are more collect calls on Father's Day
than any other day
of the
year.
(158) Heinz Ketchup leaving the bottle travels at 25
miles per year.
(159) Men get hiccups more often than woman.
(160) Armadillos can be housebroken.
(161) Bugs have hair on their eyes.
(162) In 1727, pennies featured this motto: "Mind your
own business!"
(163) A giraffe's tongue is two feet long.
(164) Elephants can stand on their heads.
(165) President Taft used to get stuck in his bathtub.
(166) Cockroaches flatulate every 15 minutes.
(167) Charles Osbourne had the hiccups for 69 years.
He later said that
the
hardest part was keeping his false teeth in his mouth.
(168) To escape enemies, the African wood snake fills
its eyes with
blood
and drools red spit from its mouth.
(169) The average elevator travels 10,000 miles a
year.
(170) Ants stretch when they wake up in the morning.
(171) Goldfish remember better in cold water than in
warm water.
(172) Thomas Edison was afraid of the dark.
(173) The first couple to be shown in bed together on
prime time
television
were Fred and Wilma Flintstone.
(174) That San Francisco Cable cars are the only
mobile National
Monuments.
(175) If a statue in the park of a person on a horse
has both front
legs in
the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has
one front leg in
the
air, the person died as a result of wounds received in
battle. If the
horse
has all four legs on the ground, the person died of
natural causes.
(176) Only two people signed the Declaration of
Independence on July
4th,
John Hanand Charles Thomson. Most of the rest
signed on August 2,
but
the last signature wasn't added until 5 years later.
(177) "I am." is the shortest complete sentence in the
English
language.
(178) No NFL team which plays its home games in a
domed stadium has
ever won
a Superbowl.
(179) The only two days of the year in which there are
no professional
sports games (MLB, NBA, NHL, or NFL) are the day
before and the day
after
the Major League all-stars Game.
(180) How about this! The nursery rhyme "Ring Around
the Rosey" is a
rhyme
about the plague. Infected people with the plague
would get red
circular
sores ("Ring around the rosey..."), these sores would
smell very bad,
so
common folks would put flowers on their bodies
somewhere
(inconspicuously)
so that they would cover the smell of the sores ("...a
pocket full of
posies..."). People who died from the plague would be
burned so as to
reduce
the possible spread of the disease ("...ashes, ashes,
we all fall
down!"). |
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| whiskers |
37 Rude & Crude Pick-up Lines
1. I wish you were a door so I could slam you all day.
2. Nice legs...what time do they open?
3. Do you work for UPS? I thought I saw you checking out my package.
4. You've got 206 bones in your body, want one more?
5. Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?
6. I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one
talking
to you.
7. I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a Big Breasted Bed Thrasher:
have you seen one?
8. I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth
tonight.
9. Want to play army? I'll lay down and you can blow the hell outta me.
10. I wish you were a Pony Carousel outside Superdrug, so I could ride
you all day long for a quarter.
11. Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a Braille name tag.
12. I'd really like to see how you look when I'm naked.
13. Is that a ladder in your stockings or the stairway to heaven?
14. You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a
light switch away.
15. Are those real?
16. You must be the limp doctor because I've got a stiffy.
17. I'd walk a million miles for one of your smiles, and even farther
for that thing you do with your tongue.
18. If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by
morning.
19. (Look down at your crotch) Well It's not just going to suck itself.
20. You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me.
21. You. Me. Whipped cream. Handcuffs. Any questions?
2 2. F@# me if I'm wrong, but is your name Sherry bottom?
23. Those clothes would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom
floor.
24. My name is (name)...remember that, you'll be screaming it later.
25. Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?
26. Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.
27. My friend wants to know if YOU think I'M cute.
28. Hi. The voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.
29. My name isn't Elmo, but you can tickle me anytime you want to.
30. I know milk does a body good, but DAMN, how much have you been
drinking?
31. If you were the last woman and I was the last man on earth, I bet
we could do it in public.
32. Wanna come over for some pizza and sex? No? Why? Don't you like
pizza?
33. Baby, I'm an American Express lover...you shouldn't go home without
me.
34. Do you sleep on your stomach? Can I???
35. Do you wash your pants in Windex? Because I can see myself in them.
36. I lost my puppy. Can you help me find him? I think he went into
this
cheap motel room.
37. (Lick finger and wipe on her shirt) Let's get you out of these wet
clothes. |
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