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The movie recommendations thread, son (pg. 168)
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| aNYthing |
| quote: | Originally posted by LeopoldStotch
His review of 'Attack the Block' was hardly anything but a couple of blurbs and a comparison to Rocknrolla, Zombieland, and Shaun of the Dead, which clearly this movie differs in comparison to the other 3. I'll just take it with a grain of salt. :o |
See, the movie was so ty, it did not even warrant an effort to put down anything more than that.
Ok, let me work up the energy to give it an earnest one...
here goes. POSSIBLE SPOILERS AHEAD.
The characters are 15 year old thugs that you start to hate right of the get go. The premise of aliens falling out of the sky is laughable, but let's just say that an organic life form survived falling through the atmosphere, clearly burning up (as it appears as a falling star in the shot). So, let's say that organic life form crash landed through a car roof, survived, and went on to menace the tiest neighborhood in london, only to be immediately killed with a primitive earthling slightly sharp object. So, still with me? YOu're an alien who can travel extereme distances that even humans can't cover and you just manage to crash land on a planet, only to have your flesh that can sustain extremely high temperatures, be suseptible to sharp objects (car sheet metal notwithstanding). Still with me?
Now, I had a pretty serious blunt before and still had a hard time with that one. And this is just the first 5 minutes of the movie. Need I go on?
Ok, how about this. Why don't you help me see the light, much like those blind alien creatures that can only smell. Right? Because one thing everyone knows you don't need to travel in space is vision. Right?
Anywho, list the funniest moments of the movie. I'll settle for say... 3. it. 2. Ok, 1 if you're struggling.
I'll check back in a while.
Let me save you the trouble - it was not funny. it was not scary. it was utter . there was nothing compelling about any of the characters. the only characters I rooted for was the police.
If your mind has progressed past puberty, this movie will offend every sense you may have, mostly your intelligence (assuming you have any to see what a it is). |
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| aNYthing |
| quote: | Originally posted by LeopoldStotch
His review of 'Attack the Block' was hardly anything but a couple of blurbs and a comparison to Rocknrolla, Zombieland, and Shaun of the Dead, which clearly this movie differs in comparison to the other 3. I'll just take it with a grain of salt. :o |
Also. Comparison? The only similarity is that they all can be categorized as "Dark Humor". Except that Attack the Block tries to be dark humor. And fails. There's nothing funny. As a matter of fact, I'd say "Schindler's List" probably had more comedic moments than this movie - it's that unfunny.
Zombieland - was hillarious. Shaun of the Dead - yeah, sort of too. Rocknrolla - which was supposed to be dark comedy... hm. wasn't but at least it tried.
I just don't ing get Attack the Block. Seriously. Can someone explain what is it that I'm missing here? It's like listening attentively to someone for 1.5 hours only to realize THERE IS NO ING PUNCHLINE TO THE STORY! IT'S NOT FUNNY, NOT SCARY, IT'S JUST A PURE WASTE OF YOUR TIME!
That was Attack the Schlock. In my humble opinion, of course. |
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| Meat187 |
| quote: | Originally posted by aNYthing
here goes. POSSIBLE SPOILERS AHEAD.
The characters are 15 year old thugs that you start to hate right of the get go. The premise of aliens falling out of the sky is laughable, but let's just say that an organic life form survived falling through the atmosphere, clearly burning up (as it appears as a falling star in the shot). So, let's say that organic life form crash landed through a car roof, survived, and went on to menace the tiest neighborhood in london, only to be immediately killed with a primitive earthling slightly sharp object. So, still with me? YOu're an alien who can travel extereme distances that even humans can't cover and you just manage to crash land on a planet, only to have your flesh that can sustain extremely high temperatures, be suseptible to sharp objects (car sheet metal notwithstanding). Still with me?
Now, I had a pretty serious blunt before and still had a hard time with that one. And this is just the first 5 minutes of the movie. Need I go on?
Ok, how about this. Why don't you help me see the light, much like those blind alien creatures that can only smell. Right? Because one thing everyone knows you don't need to travel in space is vision. Right?
Anywho, list the funniest moments of the movie. I'll settle for say... 3. it. 2. Ok, 1 if you're struggling.
I'll check back in a while.
Let me save you the trouble - it was not funny. it was not scary. it was utter . there was nothing compelling about any of the characters. the only characters I rooted for was the police.
If your mind has progressed past puberty, this movie will offend every sense you may have, mostly your intelligence (assuming you have any to see what a it is). |
OK, at first I was just rejecting your opinion with harsh words because I disagree. But now I can legitimately say that you have absolutely no clue about movies. |
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| aNYthing |
| quote: | Originally posted by Meat187
OK, at first I was just rejecting your opinion with harsh words because I disagree. But now I can legitimately say that you have absolutely no clue about movies. |
:stongue: Care to enlighten me with some substance or you're just going to get all butthurt and fling insults because I ripped in your favorite movie? Because, that's so grown up and sophisticated of you.
Trust. |
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| srussell0018 |
| I really liked Schnindler's List. Liam Neeson plays a very good villain. |
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| aNYthing |
| quote: | Originally posted by srussell0018
I really liked Schnindler's List. Liam Neeson plays a very good villain. |
Not as good of villains as Eli Roth or Brad Pitt in Inglorious Basterds... or Harrison Ford in Patriot Games. :clown: |
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| LAdazeNYnights |
| Meat, bring the cat back. |
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| GoSpeedGo! |
| quote: | Originally posted by aNYthing
See, the movie was so ty, it did not even warrant an effort to put down anything more than that.
Ok, let me work up the energy to give it an earnest one...
here goes. POSSIBLE SPOILERS AHEAD.
The characters are 15 year old thugs that you start to hate right of the get go. The premise of aliens falling out of the sky is laughable, but let's just say that an organic life form survived falling through the atmosphere, clearly burning up (as it appears as a falling star in the shot). So, let's say that organic life form crash landed through a car roof, survived, and went on to menace the tiest neighborhood in london, only to be immediately killed with a primitive earthling slightly sharp object. So, still with me? YOu're an alien who can travel extereme distances that even humans can't cover and you just manage to crash land on a planet, only to have your flesh that can sustain extremely high temperatures, be suseptible to sharp objects (car sheet metal notwithstanding). Still with me?
Now, I had a pretty serious blunt before and still had a hard time with that one. And this is just the first 5 minutes of the movie. Need I go on?
Ok, how about this. Why don't you help me see the light, much like those blind alien creatures that can only smell. Right? Because one thing everyone knows you don't need to travel in space is vision. Right?
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Stop trying to prove this movie sucks by using your own ty "real world" logic. That's not how films, or any kind of fiction, work. |
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| OrangestO |
| quote: | Originally posted by srussell0018
I really liked Schnindler's List. Liam Neeson plays a very good villain. |
I just recently watched this for the first time, too. Great movie. |
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| Meat187 |
| quote: | Originally posted by aNYthing
Care to enlighten me |
Can't be bothered. Criticizing the basic premise is just dumb, the movie creates a situation with certain rules and just not accepting that has nothing to do with criticism. It's simply narrow-mindedness.
Besides, the movie is funny as , thoroughly entertaining and quite original in bringing ghetto kids and aliens together. Claiming these qualities are just not there shows that you are simply not equipped with the basic understanding and experience that's necessary to have a meaningful opinion about any movie. |
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| aNYthing |
| quote: | Originally posted by Meat187
Can't be bothered. Criticizing the basic premise is just dumb, the movie creates a situation with certain rules and just not accepting that has nothing to do with criticism. It's simply narrow-mindedness.
Besides, the movie is funny as , thoroughly entertaining and quite original in bringing ghetto kids and aliens together. Claiming these qualities are just not there shows that you are simply not equipped with the basic understanding and experience that's necessary to have a meaningful opinion about any movie. |
right. put your tidy whities back on and quit waving them so proudly.
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"Attack the Block" is the other alien-invasion movie opening today, the lousy one, the one from Britain. In Britain, it's probably just a regular bad movie, but here - with accents that are barely comprehensible and in-jokes about council flats, not to mention a swerving handheld camera and some of the cheapest effects since "Night of the Lepus" - it's surprising this thing ever got released.
Some unsolicited advice: If you're going to show people imperiled by aliens, make us care whether said people live or die. Or at the very least don't make your audience actively root for the aliens by showing your ostensible heroes mugging a young woman at knifepoint in the movie's first scene. I imagine you must think I'm exaggerating, but no. The characters we're expected to engage with, the people for whom our rooting interest is simply assumed, are violent street thugs. Sorry, I'm with the aliens on this one.
"Attack the Block" is only 88 minutes long, but just as time slows down for airplane turbulence and hits fast forward at the first sign of fun, the minutes here stretch like chewing gum, but like magical chewing gum that you hold between your teeth and need a 50-foot arm just to test it. It felt like days in there. Or weeks, minus the hunger. And all the good parts? They were in the coming-attractions trailer, except in context they didn't seem like good parts but like less-bad parts.
Point being, if I weren't your crash-test dummy, and proud of it, I'd have walked out within 10 minutes, and that's only because I like to give movies the benefit of the doubt. Witless, boring, bad ... But no, don't read any more about this, you get the idea. Let's stop right here and never mention this again.
Read more: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/artic...L#ixzz1nzrAqsED |
that about summs it up. |
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