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::-:: *Random * Talking * on * TA* ::-:: (pg. 1245)
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| gehzumteufel |
| quote: | Originally posted by verndogs
Why not date? Sure that will be a problem down the line, but you can deal with it later |
because if she sees it as a big enough problem already it will just be bigger as time goes on if she does date him. realize that generally most girls want to get married and have kids and be able to share that joy with their family. im quite sure ang fits in that category. she sees this desire threatened by the potential that the relationship is a wash in the end because he wont marry her for fear of retribution from his family. |
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| Clovis |
Tell them to stop being racially biased bigots and get with the 21st century already. ing cocks. Theres no legitimate reason why they should think that way other than being raised stupid and adhering to archaic customs.
, you're adults, it really shouldn't ing matter. |
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| Clovis |
| Man if my family ever tried to pull like that on me ("retribution" for marrying someone I love because of their race) I'd call them up and say ". You." *click* and probably never speak to them again. |
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| Ang ' ela_ie |
| quote: | Originally posted by verndogs
Why not date? Sure that will be a problem down the line, but you can deal with it later |
Oh, totally. Its just a concern I have in my head right now. |
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| Ang ' ela_ie |
| quote: | Originally posted by Clovis
, you're adults, it really shouldn't ing matter. |
I know. Its dumb. |
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| Omega_M |
| quote: | Originally posted by Ang ' ela_ie
Okay guys. I need you to share some experience you may have had.
I really like this Indian guy that Im friends with, and we're probably going to end up dating. Im a little concerned about his parents, though. Strict Indian... wants him to marry Indian... and Im pretty sure he doesnt tell them about any of the white girls he dates.
Its really hard for me to think that I could be dating someone seriously and hed never tell his parents about me. His last girlfriend ran into them at the mall one day when they were shopping together and she said they were downright COLD to her.
Anyone have any experience? An Indian girl I used to know told me that theyd eventually get over it. Im not so sure. |
Fact is that Indian parents for the most part are conservative. Even after marriage, they will expect their son/daughter and his/her family to have very close relations with them. Many parents don't even like to see their children marry outside their own particular ethnic group. India is so diverse that people from one state to the other will not even share a common language, let alone a lifestyle. So you can imagine how difficult it is for the parents to accept someone readily from a totally different culture/religion. It is a natural reaction on their part not to accept a "foreigner" into their house.
Having said all this, a lot will depend on your friend's ability and readiness to make things work between you and his parents. Indian parents are conservative yes, but not ultra radically orthodox (baring exceptions). You and your friend can make this work if both of you are willing take the extra efforts. I don't see why you guys can't do it. I know quite a few indian guys who have american girlfriends. Infact, few people in my family are married to american/english people. And we have been able to maintain good relations with their families. If your friend's parents are very conservative, then it will take some time for things to work out. But usually with little efforts you should get things working your way. :) |
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| iclone |
buddy pass to germany, anyone? :o srsly.
james holden and loco dice now included...
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| Omega_M |
| quote: | Originally posted by Clovis
Tell them to stop being racially biased bigots and get with the 21st century already. ing cocks. Theres no legitimate reason why they should think that way other than being raised stupid and adhering to archaic customs.
, you're adults, it really shouldn't ing matter. |
you are an idiot. You cannot appreciate sensitivities of other cultures unless you have experienced them yourself. Just as you are outraged at their thinking, they will be outraged at yours. There is no right way out. There is no reason to even think that the american way of life in 21st century is superior to a conservative life style. I don't even want to begin talking about the problems of american society because of this type of attitude.
| quote: | Originally posted by Clovis
Man if my family ever tried to pull like that on me ("retribution" for marrying someone I love because of their race) I'd call them up and say ". You." *click* and probably never speak to them again. |
That is exactly the problem. It's a very selfish way of thinking only about your life and not caring for anybody else not even your parents. People in other parts of the world don't think like that. Learn to respect and appreciate other cultures. |
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| idoru |
| I just had a conversation with a seventeen year-old girl who literally did not know her left from her right. And we wonder why society is going down the ter... |
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| gehzumteufel |
| quote: | Originally posted by iclone
buddy pass to germany, anyone? :o srsly.
james holden and loco dice now included...
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| Clovis |
| quote: | Originally posted by Omega_M
you are an idiot. You cannot appreciate sensitivities of other cultures unless you have experienced them yourself. Just as you are outraged at their thinking, they will be outraged at yours. There is no right way out. |
I can appreciate many other cultural sensitivities, the problem here is there is nothing to appreciate. The only reason those people think this way is because that's how it has always been, that's how they were raised and now they firmly believe that that is how things should remain, despite the advances we have made over the last century in cultural developpment and equality in civilised societies.
| quote: | There is no reason to even think that the american way of life in 21st century is superior to a conservative life style. I don't even want to begin talking about the problems of american society because of this type of attitude.
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Where did I say that the american way of life is better? It has nothing to do with American vs. Indian ways of life, it has to do with repression vs. freedom, respecting human dignity vs. extinguishing it. It's funny that here are people discriminating blatantly on race and yet I'm the one being accused of not atuning myself to the sensibilities of others :haha: There is alot that is wrong in America as well. These types of things do happen in caucasian families too (white girl marries a latino), and are just as wrong.
| quote: |
That is exactly the problem. It's a very selfish way of thinking only about your life and not caring for anybody else not even your parents. People in other parts of the world don't think like that. Learn to respect and appreciate other cultures. |
Yes, I am very selfish, but the parents who wont let their child fall in love with someone because of RACE aren't. These ideas need to be excluded from modern society and pushed to the fringe. They need to be subject to de-emphasis and removed from our ways of thinking about family. For it to be more important that offspring marry into the same race and someone deemed acceptable by the people who are not getting married is just absolutely wrong and there is no rational basis for believing in it. It causes harm to families, causes poor relationships, poor parenting resulting from that, and stifles cultural diversity. |
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| Clovis |
If you really think that people should be judged because of the color of their skin and their ethnic background, rather than the merits of their own person, then I just don't know what to say to you...
It is flat out wrong and you'd be hard pressed to convince me otherwise. |
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