| RJT |
So I've tried to refrain from even bringing this up on TA, and certainly didn't feel like "making a thread about it" was warranted in the least, but meh - I feel like this might be cathartic:
Tomorrow morning my father is having a pretty serious operation on one of his kidneys. I don't want to go too much into detail because it's my family and I already kind of feel like I'm disrespecting their privacy by bringing this up - I've just genuinely got no one up here to talk about it with.
Basically today is the first time he's even mentioned feeling at all anxious about it, and it wasn't in the context of complaining or whining at all - just kind of clearly him needing to talk to me like I need to talk now. I guess I think he just needed to be reassured, as I'm sure he's done for me many, many times.
I did my absolute best to stay optimistic, and in general I think it's what he needed and the conversation was probably a pretty good one to have - but it was hard, because I felt like it would have been totally out of line for me to tell him that I was feeling nervous as well. I guess I just figured it would only add to his anxiety.
The truth is that he's got a great surgeon (who did the exact same operation on my god mother two years ago), a good attitude, and a massive amount of support from family and friends - so conditions are probably as good as they can be, but I still can't shake the nagging feeling that I just want it to be noon tomorrow, right now, and know everything went OK.
So yeah. Not even really any question here, and probably the epitome of "random" - but I just kind of needed to get that out there, and I needed to do it right now.
Sorry for the directionless emo rant. :sadgreen: |
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