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WIP thread (DJRYAN now allowed to post tracks) (pg. 242)
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| madmuso |
| quote: | Originally posted by deegee
Nice. That bassline at the beginning is kind of ominous and driving--gives the track energy. Well done. The mid-range synth that carries the track to the breakdown is interesting enough to listen to, but repetitive enough to be hypnotic. And that lead that kicks in at 6:56, nice. I like the two-step build out of the break, too; give 'em a kick to start dancing, with a snare on top to tell 'em they're not there yet. Unusual, and well used.
However, I think the phrase after 8:21 is a bit superfluous--you could easily skip from there to 9:17, and still have an outro. I like the low version of the synth you introduced in the breakdown (and runs after 8:21), and I think you could replace the gated stabby thing that starts at 1:20 with it. The stabs don't seem to get re-used in the piece, and for me at least they drag a bit on the track. At 1:52 they start dragging a little less, but I don't think they're necessary--I think you could easily ditch them, and either shorten the track to have a nice section that's mainly just rhythm (perhaps a funky breakbeat), then a short break and right into that great synthline at 3:20, or tease your final lead synth (the one from 6:56) in that breakdown over your pads, then bring everything back at 3:20. |
Thanks for the feedback, next chance I get I'm gonna mess with this song and try to implement some of the suggestions you guys have made. Thanks again! |
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| Innocence Lost |
sigh i'm so in love with my daw, oh god. :eyespop:
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| Mr.Mystery |
| One of these days you will write a melody. |
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| Innocence Lost |
| Yeah its that time! |
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| Mr.Mystery |
| quote: | Originally posted by madmuso
So, ive canned the other track, common feedback was that its dated, not gonna waste any more time on it, maybe one day I can use parts of it for something else, in the meantime, onto other songs!
Heres another ive been re working. To be honest, I dont even know what genre this really fits into it, I come from a classical and Rock background originaly (please dont roll your eyes!) so im not really up to speed with all the sub genres in the electronic world, all I know is I start creating and these are the things that come out.
feedback away! thanks guys,
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The big problem here is that every single section is just way too long, except for the melody section which just comes in and disappears.
The entire intro up to and including the first break seems completely pointless, because it builds up to nothing, after which you get a section that is essentially just a second intro. The main melody appears when the song is already seven minutes in, which is when most songs are already ending.
There's no tension or release to justify the length of the track. |
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| deegee |
| quote: | Originally posted by Innocence Lost
sigh i'm so in love with my daw, oh god. :eyespop:
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Oh look. Another two minute intro that goes nowhere and does nothing.
Please stop. Not joking. Stop posting until you have an actual work in progress and not yet another two minutes of boring.
Well-produced boring is still boring. |
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| scorpradio |
| quote: | Originally posted by Innocence Lost
sigh i'm so in love with my daw, oh god. :eyespop:
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deegee - I'd like to think that the group here on TA are pretty patient. I'd also like to think that there is a broad spectrum of artistry and skill level. Some of us are really just young "budding" producers while there are others with mad skills (in which I have no idea why they aren't signed).
In essence, be patient. I know there are times you may not like something you hear here but keep in mind what I just mentioned.
Paulino - In a lot of ways I tend to agree with deegee. Is it because you get into a writing rut where nothing pops out at you after you create the first set of ideas? In this clip you just posted I sense a great deal of production growth (as I have listened to prior wips of yours) but damn dood..lol finish something already! =OP
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Put this together somewhat quickly and hardly finished.
This is actually going to be a remix for a song called Beautiful Love by Sean Norvis. Thoughts greatly appreciated.
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| deegee |
eh, scorpradio, other people have said it too: everything Juan does is exactly the same. Two minute intro of nothing. And he's utterly resistant to any criticism.
The vocals on that track of yours... I don't know how much I like them, but she has a very interesting vocal quality. You've got some nice high arpy stuff in the background that I really do like, though. The, what's the word... three-note descant that's reminiscent--in a much better way--of Children. |
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| Innocence Lost |
| quote: | Originally posted by deegee
Oh look. Another two minute intro that goes nowhere and does nothing.
Please stop. Not joking. Stop posting until you have an actual work in progress and not yet another two minutes of boring.
Well-produced boring is still boring. |
Boring or not am i suppose to have chord progressions that early in the track? How am i suppose to create tension in 2 mins beginning> why don't you tell how to correct that than not contributing at all and just saying its well produced but boring LOL. |
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| deegee |
| You could, I dunno, write the rest of the track? Maybe post the breakdown and build instead of the intro? |
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| deegee |
| As for how to create tension... play around with rhythms. Drop a beat out here and there. Have a repetitive hypnotic synth line. A series of chords/notes that don't resolve; maybe something that ends on a diminished chord, and then you crack it into the full chord later in the track. Escalating acid lines--futz with the cutoff and reso. Anything. |
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| Mr.Mystery |
| quote: | Originally posted by Innocence Lost
Boring or not am i suppose to have chord progressions that early in the track? How am i suppose to create tension in 2 mins beginning> why don't you tell how to correct that than not contributing at all and just saying its well produced but boring LOL. |
Have you ever considered writing the melody/chord progression first and then building the track around it? Your WIPs stop every time it's actually time to get creative.
You need to focus less on the technical aspect and more on the songwriting. No amount of new gadgets is going to help you do that. |
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