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WIP thread (DJRYAN now allowed to post tracks) (pg. 578)
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| theterran |
| quote: | Originally posted by Storyteller
'Feedback!'
Hope it helps. |
Ah, thanks for the honest feedback! Indeed tried out a bunch of different snares/rolls for that first tune's build, but there's a lot going on there, and they either end up sounding unnatural to me, or getting drowned out.
Definitely some things in your feedback to consider moving forward. Thanks again! |
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| gordan100 |
I have added the portamento on bassline and widen stereo picture as Storyteller suggested. Thanks, it's much better now. Also did some vocal cleaning and changed drums, but they are still simple. I really suck with drums.
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| theterran |
| quote: | Originally posted by gordan100
I have added the portamento on bassline and widen stereo picture as Storyteller suggested. Thanks, it's much better now. Also did some vocal cleaning and changed drums, but they are still simple. I really suck with drums.
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Better groove and alignment with the vocals on this pass. Lotta potential here, and I dig the throwback vibe. Drums seem ok to me.
2 mildly unpleasant frequency spikes in the track at 7khz, and 16khz. One from vocoder (7khz) and the other from what I gather is the bell-synth in the back. 4-6db cut with a 5Q bell curve @ 7khz on the vocals would probably do the trick.
In agreement with SystematicX1 on the feedback for this one musically. At about 1:47, even while passively listening I felt..."I need a break from this vocodor". It's neat, I dig it...but I think musically, the track would benefit from your standard lead-ins and breaks.
Of course, it's your arrangement and I respect that...So this'd merely be an arrangement suggestion you could try on a totally separate save file of this track.
The intro is probably interesting enough to hold it's own until around 30-60 seconds in. Could get the full 60 seconds with a little variation in the instrumental, and that'd also be around your typical lead-in time for a mix.
The lead-in cue at 1:02 is also already present in the track, so it'd be as simple as shifting the vocals over to start them there. Then use the vocals to introduce the groove at 1:33 and take them away again to let the groove, groove for a bit there (It's a nice groove...), then...bring back the vocals around 2:02.
Breaks and variation are important to a listening experience, even a passive one...Else the ears/brain will start to tire of whatever they're listening to. I think generally speaking, once every 2 full measures is when listeners expect some kinda change to occur. Not a hard and fast rule, but it's worth keeping the listener's expectations in mind.
Hope that helps! Best of luck with this one! |
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| TranceLover007 |
| quote: | Originally posted by theterran
....... Breaks and variation are important to a listening experience, even a passive one...Else the ears/brain will start to tire of whatever they're listening to. I think generally speaking, once every 2 full measures is when listeners expect some kinda change to occur. Not a hard and fast rule, but it's worth keeping the listener's expectations in mind. |
Agree with this statement completely.
Darek |
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| TranceLover007 |
Let's see what you guys think about tis WIP.
Cheers,
Darek |
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| SystematicX1 |
| quote: | Originally posted by TranceLover007
Let's see what you guys think about tis WIP.
Cheers,
Darek |
It is without question your production skills are top notch, so...I'll leave that alone as yet you provide another great sounding piece.
With that said, I am going full in on the personal side as this doesn't need critiquing
I like my piano's...a LOT. And I really like your opener. Curious, as I guess there is a production quirk I noticed. Is there a tad bit of
distortion I am sensing on the piano? Or...could it possibly be a higher key possibly that G or D# note that is giving me that tingey spike? Whichever, the intro is $$
Honestly I am questioning the vox. It comes in very sudden and it's introducing two elements, at the same time. It's not that it's bad and listening more on the chorus...it's super nice. I believe you could extend that point at the .30 sec mark without any percussion and instead of bringing in the vox, introduce the bass and build it. Honestly and again this is my total feelings on this but I think this is great with or without the vox. Hearing that you have a pretty fair amount of backing vox, if it were me? I'd put those in vs the verses but that could totally be artist expression and yours to do with.
This has a very familiar mousy feel to it yet you have delivered
the technique in your own feel. Personally, a slightly faster bpm might gain you more bounce but the groove is there either way.
Dood, the Arp. Remember this golden rule in any track. Gotta have an Arp. You provided. +10
The ending is very nice ma man. Dig it. That stab lead could possibly gain you some atmosphere if you give it some bounce with delay and some verb.
All personal feedback and very much a joy to listen to. A little different for you and I like where it went on this piece. |
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| gordan100 |
| This is very nice, Darek. Very much like the opening and the fact that vocal comes together with kick. Lovely production |
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| gordan100 |
Terran, thank you very much for feedback. I have taken your suggestions into account here...
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| Storyteller |
| quote: | Originally posted by TranceLover007
Let's see what you guys think about tis WIP.
Cheers,
Darek |
Note: listening on headphones.
Really liking the vibe in the intro. Nice start with vocs, bass and the percs. Good plucks, maybe have a bit more sustain on them and filter them a bit deeper? This way the vocals and the synth that comes in shortly after have a bit more space in the mix.
The synth at 2:10 is off-grid here and there, a bit too much for my liking.
All in all very well balanced, mostly nitpicking at this point. Very enjoyable :) |
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| TranceLover007 |
| quote: | Originally posted by gordan100
Terran, thank you very much for feedback. I have taken your suggestions into account here...
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Hi Gordan, for instance giving you some form of replay on your track and telling you what to change, I may as well give you my thought process for coming up with the new production concept. The most important element is melody line, of course, but without some driving and grooving drums and bass line, you are not going to get far (my personal experience lol). So at this point I usually create bass and drums and than start to working on some creative grove/vibe for it - it already has to sound like pretty moving/grooving element of your creation. The rest is a bit easy to grasp around but grove/vibe is the key to any good production. Hopefully this will help.
Cheers,
Darek |
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| theterran |
| quote: | Originally posted by gordan100
Terran, thank you very much for feedback. I have taken your suggestions into account here...
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Definitely dig it alot more with that arrangement...but, more importantly, what do you think?
On V2, I made it to about 1:47 before wanting to skip through / move on...this time I was just groovin' with it all the way to the end with it in the background while surfing the web.
A much more organized and well-intentioned arrangement, I'd say. Guess you'll have to wait and see what others gotta say about it. |
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| TranceLover007 |
Matthijs, Gordan and Phil - thank you for listening and objective replay on my WIP. You opinion will be taking in account.
Cheer,
Darek |
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